Overcoming Stigma Associated with Mental Illness

Our society has come a long way in reducing the stigma around mental illness, but we still have a long way to go. Many misconceptions and stereotypes relating to mental illness still exist.

So why does it matter? Stigma can impact people’s desire to seek treatment. Stigma can cause those with mental health disorders to isolate themselves or develop negative thoughts and perceptions. It can also impact access to evidence-based treatment options.

We all can make an impact in our communities and society to reduce stigma. Read on to learn more about how to reduce self-stigma and public stigma around mental health disorders.

Why Is There Stigma Surrounding Mental Illness?

Stigma often comes from a fear, misunderstanding, or misinformation. Some portrayals in the media and on TV shows and movies don’t always get the facts right when it comes to mental illness. Nor do they provide audiences with a well-balanced view of mental illness.

Some stigma may be rooted in societies and cultures. For example, some societies used to believe presence of a mental illness was a sign of the devil. There are other beliefs that mental illness is a sign of weakness. Again, such beliefs are often due to a lack of information.

There’s also a lot of misinformation people access, and some of them share their inaccurate findings, spreading false information (and stigma) to others. No matter the reason for the stigma, it’s good for you to know how to reduce mental health stigma.

If You Have a Mental Health Disorder

Rather than letting people get information about mental illness from the wrong sources, those who have been officially diagnosed with a mental illness can talk openly about their diagnosis, if they feel comfortable. Those who hold stigmas may lack an understanding of what it means to have bipolar disorder, clinical anxiety or clinical depression.

Your own stigmas may prevent you from seeking treatment. Getting treatment is the first step. Treatment can help you recover and live a healthy, fulfilling life.

Additionally, connecting with others with mental illness helps dismantle stigma. Mental illness often has a way of making people feel isolated. Talking about your illness with others who have mental illnesses creates a sense of community and the peace of mind that comes with knowing you aren’t alone.

Also, don’t hesitate to reach out to your family and friends for emotional and mental support. Those closest to you may harbor their own secret stigmas about mental illness. Knowing someone close to them is struggling can change their minds for the better. They may even share and spread what you share with them, helping to end stigma further. If you’re hesitant to talk with your loved ones, consult your mental health counselor. They can offer advice on how to have a meaningful, open conversation.

What You Can Do

Those who may not have a mental illness can help to reduce the public stigma associated with mental illness, which in turn can help reduce self-stigma someone with a mental illness may feel.

We’ve come a long way in regards to understanding mental illness. New developments are being made in mental health treatment, and it’s good to be aware of useful, factual information regarding mental illness. More importantly, it paves the way for evidence-based therapies and treatment options. Organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness are great places to go for information.

If you know someone who has a mental illness and they are willing to share with you, listen to their story. Use it as a learning opportunity. You never know when you may have the opportunity to teach someone else.

Education is important, but there are other things you can do to help reduce stigma associated with mental illness.

• Person-first language: Rather than saying “mentally ill person” use “person with a mental illness.” Disorders should not be used as adjectives, e.g., depressed person.
• Compassion: Lend an open ear. You may not know what someone is going through.
• TV and media: If you see perpetuations of stigma on TV or on social media, speak out. You can do so in a respectful way.
• Perception: Just like we treat physical illnesses, we have to treat mental illnesses. We place importance on seeing a PCD for physical checkups, and we need to check in on our mental health too.
• Community involvement: If you feel inspired, take part in local events, work with organizations, and talk with legislators to help raise awareness about mental illness.

Mental health needs to be a priority, and it’s on all of us to make a difference.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/overcoming-stigma-associated-with-mental-illness/

Thrive in the New Year: How to Set Intentions Not Resolutions

Each new year we are encouraged by society to set New Year’s Resolutions. It’s a time that’s supposed to be filled with new hope of making things different in the coming year. However, if you’re like most people you aren’t a fan of setting New Year’s resolutions. In theory, it’s a good idea, but it leaves many people feeling like they’ve failed by the time February 1st rolls around. That’s why I’m going to encourage you to set intentions for 2019 instead of resolutions.

What are New Year’s resolutions?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines New Year’s resolutions as, “a promise that you make to yourself to start doing something good or stop doing something bad on the first day of the year.” In short, New Year’s resolutions are when people decide to take action and work towards a goal. The most popular resolutions are to:

• Lose weight
• Exercise more
• Eat healthier
• Stop smoking
• Drink less
• Learn a new hobby or skill

We know that it’s good to have goals in life, but there are a few reasons why resolutions don’t work for most people. The first is that many people struggle to know how to set proper resolutions and goals. So they choose something they want to do, but they don’t have a plan on how to accomplish it. This leads to failure to achieve the goal. The second is that we tend to view resolutions with an all or nothing mentality. That means the first time we blow our diet or miss a workout we throw our resolution out the window completely. Resolutions are something that we either succeed or fail at. It’s black and white.

If you don’t believe me just go to a gym at the beginning of January and then again at the beginning of February and March. Gyms across the country are packed with people who have made resolutions to get in shape at the start of the year. But, each month attendance drops off as people give up. After so many years of trying and “failing” to stick to their resolutions, people just stop making them altogether.

How are intentions different than resolutions?

But unlike resolutions, intention-setting focuses less on goals and more on the journey which leads to certain outcomes. Think of it this way: Intentions focus more on internal power and long-term change, whereas resolutions focus more on external—and sometimes, short-lived—rewards.

Let’s look at how this works for one of the most commonly set resolutions—losing weight. If you are setting a resolution to lose weight it might be something like, “lose 20 pounds”. But, if you choose to set an intention the weight loss might be a result, but it’s not going to be the focus. The intention might be something more like, “I’m going to take care of my body the way that it deserves.” This might incorporate making changes to your diet or exercise regimen, but the focus is not on those specific changes but the intention of treating your body the way it deserves.

Intentions are about reconnecting with our authentic selves. It enables us to reconnect with what we need — mind, body, and spirit.  Intentions seek to address this residue from within in order to achieve change, whereas resolutions most often set awareness on the achievement of something externally. The difference is subtle but important.

How to Set Intentions

1. Spend time in self-reflection and dig into your why.

The first step to set intentions for 2019 is to spend some time in self-reflection. Your intentions will only matter to you and come to reality if it’s something that truly matters to you. Think through what areas of your life are the most important to you along with what your priorities and passions are. Your intentions need to align with who you are. 

Take time to really dig into what you want your intentions for the year to be and why they matter to you. What do you want your life to look like and why? What would life be like if those things came to be?

2. Create a statement for your intention.

Once you know what your intentions are going to be you should create a statement around each of them that you can focus on throughout the year. Your thoughts hold a lot of power over what outcomes you will experience in 2019 and beyond.

Once you have your statement make sure you spend time thinking about it for a short time each day. Spend time meditating on it.

3. Release your doubts and negative beliefs.

Once again, your thoughts are powerful. Therefore, it’s important that you work on releasing any doubt or negative thoughts that you have about your intentions. This can be tricky, especially if it’s an area that you set resolutions for and failed in the past. You need to let go of the past and remind yourself you are focusing on intentions, not resolutions now.

4. Allow your intentions to guide your plans.

Once you have intentions set in place you can use them to determine what actions you want to take in order to achieve it. When you use the intention as the focus it allows you to keep going even if have trouble sticking to the changes or actions you are working on incorporating in your life.

5. Get ready for 2019.

While 2018 might not have gone exactly as you wanted, but as you set your intentions for 2019, make sure to celebrate the successes from the year. Celebrating successes, even the small ones, can go a long way in building confidence and spurring you on to further action. Then, remember the difference between success and failure is often spelled as intentions.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/thrive-in-the-new-year-how-to-set-intentions-not-resolutions/

Podcast: New Year’s Resolutions from a Bipolar and a Schizophrenic

Just because your living with mental illness, doesn’t mean you don’t believe in all the weird superstitious customs our society loves so much. In this episode our hosts discuss their hopes for the new year, the resolutions they made, and how to have a good 2019 in spite of living with bipolar or schizophrenia.

Listen in now!

 

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

“If you’re not going to keep your resolutions, don’t beat yourself up by making them!”
– Gabe Howard

 

Highlights From ‘Bipolar & Schizophrenic New Year’s Resolutions’ Episode

[1:00] What are a Michelle and Gabe doing For the New Year?

[3:00] What are our New Year’s resolutions?

[9:00] Personal opinions on New Year’s resolutions

[14:30] Gabe and Michelle pick resolutions for each other (hilarity ensues)

[21:00] Should we thank people from the past?

[23:00] What are some nice things we can do for ourselves?

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Bipolar & Schizophrenic New Year’s Resolutions’ Show

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: [00:00:07] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.

Gabe: [00:00:19] Happy New Year everyone! Well, almost. New Year’s Eve is tonight. Or if you’re listening to this, like, on January 5th, New Year’s Eve was a week ago. But for Michelle and I, we are going to celebrate New Year’s Eve in America in less than 12 hours. Oh yeah. And you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. I’m Gabe. I’m bipolar.

Michelle: [00:00:43] And I’m Michelle I’m schizophrenic.

Gabe: [00:00:45] And Michelle is from a New York City, so her New Year’s Eve plans are just infinitely better than mine. Michelle, are you going to go to Times Square and watch the ball drop?

Michelle: [00:00:55] Absolutely not.

Gabe: [00:00:57] Have you done it?

Michelle: [00:00:58] Never have never will.

Gabe: [00:01:00] Wow. So even though the entire country is watching this thing and it’s like a half an hour from your house you’re just avoiding the whole thing.

Michelle: [00:01:07] You have to get there before 6:00.

Gabe: [00:01:10] Oh, so you’re already you’ve already missed it.

Michelle: [00:01:12] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:01:12] You’ve already missed it. But you’ve never been, even though you’ve lived in New York your entire life?

Michelle: [00:01:17] Correct. Why would I want to stand outside, in the freezing cold, squished?

Gabe: [00:01:22] Have you ever been to the Rockefeller Christmas Tree?

Michelle: [00:01:25] I’ve seen it.

Gabe: [00:01:26] So you’re Jewish, and you’ve gone to the Christmas tree but you’re an American in New York and you’ve never seen the ball drop?

Michelle: [00:01:32] The only time I’ve been to the Christmas tree was that I was with my friend from New Zealand who was visiting and she says she wants to see the tree.

Gabe: [00:01:39] Gotcha. So if I come to New York, you’ll go to Times Square to watch the ball drop because I will be visiting.

Michelle: [00:01:46] No, it’s too cold.

Gabe: [00:01:47] Oh, you should make a New Year’s resolution to go out in the cold. Just because you weigh 90 pounds doesn’t mean that you have to freeze. They have excellent technology in coats.

Michelle: [00:01:58] Get me a heated coat.

Gabe: [00:01:59] Get you a heated coat?

Michelle: [00:02:01] Let me know. Yeah.

Gabe: [00:02:02] I’m going to buy you a coat. Set it on fire and put it on you.

Michelle: [00:02:07] Great idea. Gabe, yes. That’s exactly the way you should do it. Light a coat on fire. Yeah. In Times Square. Great. Great plan there. Yeah.

Gabe: [00:02:18] I didn’t say it was a great plan.

Michelle: [00:02:20] A coat on fire in the middle of Times Square on New Year’s. You’re not gonna cause any ruckus.

Gabe: [00:02:25] That’s funny. Michelle, what are your New Year’s resolutions? Now we took some time with this. We just,like, planned this out. We thought long and hard about New Year’s resolutions and we came up with our own New Year’s resolutions and then we each came up with a New Year’s resolution for each other.

Michelle: [00:02:44] Oh, we did?

Gabe: [00:02:45] Oh. I mean, I came up with several for you.

Michelle: [00:02:47] But I came up with a few for you.

Gabe: [00:02:47] Yeah?

Michelle: [00:02:47] Yeah, I can come up with a few for you.

Gabe: [00:02:50] [unintelligible]

Michelle: [00:02:50] [unintelligible] Even now you don’t even know what we are.

Gabe: [00:02:54] You get one.

Michelle: [00:02:54] Huh-uh.

Gabe: [00:02:56] No, you get one.

Michelle: [00:02:56] Huh-uh.

Gabe: [00:02:57] You get one.

Michelle: [00:02:58] Huh-uh.

Gabe: [00:02:58] You get one.

Michelle: [00:02:58] Huh-uh.

Gabe: [00:02:59] You get one. What is your first New Year’s resolution, Michelle?

Michelle: [00:03:01] Our resolutions, that we decided on, are kind of to improve our mental health in a way. What resolution could we do that will improve our mental health in some sort of way? Well here’s our resolution I have for myself; I will not sleep but definitely get up at 10 a.m. in the morning.

Gabe: [00:03:21] That one’s a lie. Oh wait, we’re not we’re not playing “Two Truths and a Lie.” I thought we were playing Two Truths and a Lie. I apologize.

Michelle: [00:03:30] That is my resolution.

Gabe: [00:03:30] That one’s the lie.

Michelle: [00:03:32] I want to add to my resolution. It’s my resolution! You don’t believe in my resolution, Gabe?

Gabe: [00:03:37] No. No I don’t.

Michelle: [00:03:41] This is nice. I was not meant to be funny. That is not a joke!

Gabe: [00:03:45] [Laughter]

Michelle: [00:03:51] What is your resolution? I wish. I’m going to visit. See my hair doesn’t grow red. And then maybe like that is a lie.

Gabe: [00:03:58] Actually I could meet that resolution because since I started working with you I have a lot of white and grey hair growing in.

Michelle: [00:04:04] You sound like one of those old people now.

Gabe: [00:04:07] I am one of those old people now.

Michelle: [00:04:09] Well, I don’t like that you don’t like my resolution.

Gabe: [00:04:10] I didn’t say that I didn’t like your resolution. It is an excellent resolution. I just that it was a lie.

Michelle: [00:04:19] But it’s a resolution, not a lie. It’s a resolution. Will it happen?

Gabe: [00:04:25] There is some psychological research on achieving resolutions. So step one is to have a New Year’s resolution. Your resolutions is to get up by 10:00 a.m. every day. Step two is to have a plan for how you plan to achieve it. So we’ve established step one what is your plan for achieving this resolution, Michelle?

Michelle: [00:04:45] You see, I haven’t come up with that yet. I was going to set some alarms and then remember my New Year’s resolution.

Gabe: [00:04:54] Do you remember when I showed you that subscription service that will call you until you wake up? It’s like twenty four dollars a month and it will literally just keep calling you until you recite the alphabet.

Michelle: [00:05:05] That would have been a really nice holiday gift.

Gabe: [00:05:08] I don’t? We don’t exchange for Hanukkah or Christmas. Why would I get you a gift?

Michelle: [00:05:11] Because of Judah Maccabee.

Gabe: [00:05:17] Judah Maccabee?

Michelle: [00:05:23] Torah character.

Gabe: [00:05:23] I’d like to inform our listeners that we had an attempt to make a joke, but it really just kind of came out anti-Semitic and we apologize. Moving right along. Michelle, so you don’t have a plan but you have a hope. What you have is a wish you wish that you could wake up by 10:00 a.m. but without a plan you are likely to fail at this.

Michelle: [00:05:47] I guess.

Gabe: [00:05:49] Now do you want to fail? Is this something that you’re saying on the podcast like, “[mockingly] I want to get up by 10:00 because I’m going to be a better person.” Or is it is this an actual goal of yours?

Michelle: [00:05:58] I really want to get up at 10.

Gabe: [00:06:01] I know that you really want to get up at 10:00, and I really want to lose weight. But my plan so far is to eat as many cupcakes as I can and hope the weight magically drops off. My New Year’s resolution this year is not to lose weight. You know why? Because I have no plan. I’m never going to lose the weight. I’m just a fat ass and I’ve accepted it. Also, have you seen the pictures of us together? There is no way I can lose enough weight to not look ridiculous. I am 6 foot 3 and you are 5 foot 2. And even if I lost 100 pounds, I would still look ridiculous standing next to you. So I’ve just given up. I’ve just given up. I’m gonna get fatter.

Michelle: [00:06:36] I don’t think that’s the way you should look at it. Your saying that you could never achieve the perfect body so you should just get fatter.

Gabe: [00:06:44] No, I’m saying that standing next to Michelle Hammer and in all of our publicity photos, I’m always gonna look fat and ridiculous because you’re so compact and tiny. Also, you’re pretty and I am not. So I think that rather than look like the guy who’s trying to look good standing next to the attractive young woman, I should just be the ugly guy. I’m basically – I’m Steve Buscemi. I’m just trying to Steve Buscemi this. He didn’t try to be handsome. He just stared right into the ugly.

Michelle: [00:07:11] Yeah. So what is your resolution?

Gabe: [00:07:16] My resolution, and I think that you will appreciate this resolution, is to be more understanding of all the deadlines that you miss because you overslept. My plan to achieve this is to raise all of my medications to a higher level and to practice radical acceptance. I accept that you suck.

Michelle: [00:07:40] That is the stupidest resolution I’ve ever heard.

Gabe: [00:07:45] What would be an example of a good resolution? I’m going to start getting up at 10 with no plan even though I never have in 30 years on this planet?

Michelle: [00:07:51] Listen, you think you know. But you have no idea.

Gabe: [00:07:56] That actually brings us to another psychological trick to help keep New Year’s resolutions, and that is consequences. Consequences for action. It sort of works on the swear jar basis. So if you swear, you put a dollar in the jar. What is the consequence if you break your New Year’s resolutions? So if you sleep past 10 what punishment are you going to impose on yourself?

Michelle: [00:08:17] What did they call [unintelligible] flatulence? Flat lists?

Gabe: [00:08:21] You’re gonna fart? What?

Michelle: [00:08:30] The people that whip themselves. I just saw on TV the other day. You know the witches.

Gabe: [00:08:37] So, if you sleep past ten you’re going to beat yourself?

Michelle: [00:08:41] What’s that called when you beat yourself with the whip or something?

Gabe: [00:08:47] Schizophrenia. You need to be reasonable in your consequence. Otherwise you won’t follow it. Like in the swear jar. You have to put in a dollar. A dollar will be like, “Oh my God I’ve got to put in a dollar.” There’s the act of putting it in and then in front of, like, your peers.

Michelle: [00:09:03] Why do people do swear jars? What’s so wrong about swearing? Can we talk about that? You didn’t like my new year’s resolution, but yours sucks, so I don’t really understand. Give me a real resolution.

Gabe: [00:09:17] My real resolution this year is not to make any resolutions.

Michelle: [00:09:21] That’s dumb.

Gabe: [00:09:24] That’s true. My honest to goodness New Year’s resolution is [unintelligible].

Michelle: [00:09:27] That would have been your last year’s resolution.

Gabe: [00:09:29] I didn’t make any last year for this very reason. I am so tired at failing. Because then you know, that that’s the thing. If you’re not going to keep your resolution don’t beat yourself up. And I think this is important especially for our community to understand.

Michelle: [00:09:42] It’s called a measurable goal.

Gabe: [00:09:43] Well it is. One, it is called a measurable goal but to if you’re not going to do it like for example let’s use that everybody’s favorite New Year’s resolution is weight loss. If you have no plan to actually lose weight or be healthier, don’t make the resolution because now you’re not going to lose weight and you’re gonna beat yourself up for failing. So instead of having one problem, which is that you’re overweight, you have two problems. That you’re an overweight failure. So it’s better just not to make the resolution. But sincerely, my honest resolution this year is to get up earlier as well. Now I can’t get up at 10 o’clock, but I’ve noticed that I am more productive if I get up earlier. You know my wife gets up at 5:00 a.m.

Michelle: [00:10:22] That’s – she cray.

Gabe: [00:10:23] Yeah. She’s straight up cray. I’m bipolar she’s nuts. Yeah, it works.

Michelle: [00:10:27] I’m schizophrenic, I don’t wake up at 5:00. She cray.

Gabe: [00:10:29] Yeah. But, I would like to get up by 6:30.

Michelle: [00:10:36] You cray.

Gabe: [00:10:36] I just, I do think that I’m more productive in the morning. As the day drains on, I get less and less productive. So that tells me that I would probably accomplish more if I got up earlier. But it is difficult, because you are more of a . . .  well you don’t get up untill noon most days.

Michelle: [00:10:53] I stay up late.

Gabe: [00:10:54] Yeah, but you don’t work late. It’s not like you get a lot of work done overnight and I wake up in the morning to it.

Michelle: [00:11:00] This is true.

Gabe: [00:11:03] Just out of curiosity, can one of your New Year’s resolutions be to have work hours? I don’t care what they are. Your work hours can be midnight to 8. But right now your work hours are – eh.

Michelle: [00:11:12] My work hours are flexible.

Gabe: [00:11:19] Yeah. Another word for flexible is, I don’t know when to work so I don’t.

Michelle: [00:11:25] Then how is this podcast playing for these people right now who are listening?

Gabe: [00:11:29] Because I did all the work.

Michelle: [00:11:30] No you didn’t.

Gabe: [00:11:31] You’re not even here.

Michelle: [00:11:33] You did not upload this.

Gabe: [00:11:35] I have a Casio synthesizer with all of Michelle’s catch phrases in it and I just press them.

Michelle: [00:11:40] That’s not even funny, because you never know what I’m going to say.

Gabe: [00:11:44] Yeah, that was B flat.

Michelle: [00:11:45] No, it’s not.

Gabe: [00:11:46] That was C.

Michelle: [00:11:46] D E F G where I want to know a [unintellible] says takes a popping.

Gabe: [00:11:55] Remember that plan we had? We were gonna record you, like, apologizing? Like you’re right, Gabe, I shouldn’t have done that. We’re just gonna record them all and give them to our producer so that anytime there was a podcast where you were just unrepentantly awful, we would just, you know. You’re just like I beat up a guy and I kicked him. Do you feel bad about it now? And we just insert, yes, I feel bad. I should not have done that that would have been phenomenal. Can we do that? Record some right now?

Michelle: [00:12:22] I’m really sorry Gabe. It was the wrong thing to do.

Gabe: [00:12:29] Yes.

Michelle: [00:12:29] I really deserved to be fired that time.

Gabe: [00:12:33] Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Michelle: [00:12:36] I shouldn’t have yelled at that person.

Gabe: [00:12:37] Mm hmm. Maybe throw one in for your mom. My mom was right, I was mean to her. Good good good. Maybe another one now.

Michelle: [00:12:53] She’s really good at cooking.

Gabe: [00:12:56] That’s it? The only thing you can say about your mom? Maybe one of your New Year’s resolutions should be to be nicer to your mother.

Michelle: [00:13:02] Perhaps. Maybe, maybe, I need to be a little more understanding.

Gabe: [00:13:05] Do you have a plan to be more understanding?

Michelle: [00:13:08] Well, you just told me this right now, Gabe. So I didn’t come up with a plan within three seconds.

Gabe: [00:13:14] So that’s a no. I just don’t think you’re prepared. I’m sorry I’m gonna have to let you go.

Michelle: [00:13:18] Pause right there we have to hear from our sponsor.

Announcer: [00:13:25] PsychCentral.com is the internet’s largest and oldest independent mental health online resource. Since 1995, our completely free, award winning website, has been run by mental health professionals offering reliable trusted information as well as over 250 support groups to people living with mental illness. From professional articles to personal stories, PsychCentral.com is worth your time checking out and is the generous sponsor of this podcast.

2nd Announcer: [00:13:56] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counselling. All counsellors are licensed accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Gabe: [00:14:26] We’re back. Just listen to this moron keep going. Your resolution should be to stop drinking soda soda.

Gabe: [00:14:34] What’s wrong with soda?

Michelle: [00:14:38] Google it.

Gabe: [00:14:39] OK. So, before we continue along this, remember we each get one New Year’s resolution for the other person. Is this what you want your New Year’s resolution for Gabe Howard to be?

Michelle: [00:14:48] Yes.

Gabe: [00:14:49] So you want the New Year’s resolution for me to be to stop drinking Diet Coke?

Michelle: [00:14:53] All soda because then you would just be like, “Oh man, I drink diet Pepsi.”

Gabe: [00:14:58] No, that would never happen. That would totally not happen, but fine. You want me to give up Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, diet anything? Also if it has fizzy bubbles it’s out.

Michelle: [00:15:09] You can have seltzer.

Gabe: [00:15:10] Oh, I can just drink straight up seltzer water?

Michelle: [00:15:12] Like Pellegrino too.

Gabe: [00:15:14] Oh, you think I’m your dead grandpa. Is that what happened here? Am I Al? Did he drink seltzer? He did didn’t he? I don’t even know. I didn’t intend it. He’s got it. I know he did.

Michelle: [00:15:23] I’m not really sure. I don’t know.

Gabe: [00:15:25] We could ask Blanche. Blanche, did Al drink Seltzer?

Michelle: [00:15:28] No.

Gabe: [00:15:29] Well I guess I was wrong. OK. So now if you made a plan for me to stop drinking Diet Coke what would it be? Because cold turkey is never going to work. I’m not going to stop drinking Diet Coke cold turkey.

Michelle: [00:15:41] Smaller increments.

Gabe: [00:15:43] Ok.

Michelle: [00:15:43] Today if you have it. How many glasses of Diet Coke do you drink in a day?

Gabe: [00:15:48] So they come in, they come in 30 ounces. And I drink 30 a day.

Michelle: [00:15:53] Just down by one every day.

Gabe: [00:15:55] So in a month or so. So twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven? So, so, roughly in February I would be down to zero?

Michelle: [00:16:01] Yes.

Gabe: [00:16:01] Now what should I drink when I go out? Like when I go to the movies and I order popcorn? What should I drink with the popcorn?

Michelle: [00:16:07] Water.

Gabe: [00:16:08] OK. Is anybody in the history of time ever had popcorn and water?

Michelle: [00:16:13] I have.

Gabe: [00:16:14] No, you haven’t.

Michelle: [00:16:15] Yes, I have.

Gabe: [00:16:16] You lie.

Michelle: [00:16:16] No, I have.

Gabe: [00:16:17] Are you drinking a soda right now?

Michelle: [00:16:18] Doesn’t matter. This is not my New Year’s resolution. And next to my soda is my water.

Gabe: [00:16:25] Yeah, but I’m drinking a water next to my soda as well. Yes.

Michelle: [00:16:28] How many sodas have you had today?

Gabe: [00:16:30] Today? I mean, it’s early so seven.

Michelle: [00:16:34] How many have I had?

Gabe: [00:16:34] I don’t know. What?

Michelle: [00:16:36] This would be number one.

Gabe: [00:16:39] [unintelligble] But, this actually illustrates a really good point, and I think it’s worth discussing. Your New Year’s resolution for me is unattainable. It is absolutely unattainable. I am never going to completely, 100 percent, give up Diet Coke. It’s not a realistic goal. But as you have pointed out, and as you are correct, and I will admit to the audience, and you can you can frame this on your wall. Michelle Hammer is correct. I drink an unhealthy amount of diet soda. It is true. She is right. But you would be better off saying, “You know, Gabe, why do you get up in the morning and go drink Diet Coke? Maybe you should just limit your diet coke intake to the movies or as a special treat a few times a week? Or maybe when you go out to dinner?” Don’t you think that would have been like much more reasonable and maybe more attainable for me to achieve?

Michelle: [00:17:26] Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Those are better ideas.

Gabe: [00:17:29] Yeah. But since you didn’t come up with them, you’re going to have to wait until the end of next year to offer this. Assuming that we haven’t gotten canceled.

Michelle: [00:17:36] Ok.

Gabe: [00:17:37] Fair enough. OK. So now here is my new year’s resolution for you; I want you to stop vaping? OK? Completely.

Michelle: [00:17:48] How do you? How do I go about doing this?

Gabe: [00:17:49] You stop.

Michelle: [00:17:51] How?

Gabe: [00:17:51] Well, are you addicted to vaping.

Michelle: [00:17:52] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:17:54] Wait, I thought that the advantage of vaping was that it was non addictive.

Michelle: [00:17:58] No it’s that there’s not smoke.

Gabe: [00:17:59] But it’s still addictive?

Michelle: [00:18:01] Yeah. There’s nicotine in it.

Gabe: [00:18:03] So you’re still taking nicotine? Sucking it into your lungs and breathing it out? And that’s supposed to be healthier for you?

Michelle: [00:18:10] It’s that they don’t know the long term effects entirely. But it’s supposed to be healthier because it’s not smoke entering your lungs.

Gabe: [00:18:17] I love how they’re like they don’t know, but it’s supposed to be. You know it will be worse for you.

Michelle: [00:18:23] You never know. Who knows?

Gabe: [00:18:24] Why did you pick this up in the first place?

Michelle: [00:18:28] I don’t know

Gabe: [00:18:28] I want you to stop smoking everything. There should be just no.  No smoke, no vape, no puff. Just no. There is no reason to inhale a foreign substance into your lungs. That is what I want for Michelle Hammer. I think you’d be happier.

Michelle: [00:18:45] Why?

Gabe: [00:18:47] Because you are kind of a health nut. It always kind of surprised me that you were willing to do this anyway. I mean, you once walked up 100 flights of stairs. You were in Lacrosse magazine. This is how serious you take your physical health, and then you’re just like, “carcinogens are good.” Like, what’s up with that? Like this does not fit your personality. So it also makes me worry about you on a mental health level.

Michelle: [00:19:11] Yeah. I think it’s more mental than it is physical.

Gabe: [00:19:15] So the first thing that I would suggest is addressing why you need this crutch. Because I think you very much use it as a crutch. Because whenever we’re doing a lot of work and there’s a lot of stress and there’s people around us, you you start puffing on that thing like nothing. This is your bankie.

Michelle: [00:19:31] You’re a little bit right about that one, Sugar.

Gabe: [00:19:33] You are Linus and that thing you’re sucking on is that blue blanket.

Michelle: [00:19:38] Mm hmm. Hit the nail on the head, why dontcha?

Gabe: [00:19:45] I want you to say, “Gabe you’re right.”

Michelle: [00:19:46] I’m not going to say that.

Gabe: [00:19:49] Say, “Thanks for looking out for me.”

Michelle: [00:19:51] Uh, brains.

Gabe: [00:19:57] This awkward silence is brought to you by Michelle not wanting to admit that she was wrong and Gabe not letting it go. She also just puffed on her vape pen and blew it in my face. Which is impressive because she’s in New York. So mean. That is so mean. Let’s switch gears for a moment and talk about some New Year’s resolutions that would help our mental health. And we don’t wanna spend a lot of time on them. We just gonna want to put them in people’s heads. Because people tend to think about like big things, like saving more money, or losing weight, or stop smoking, or stop drinking Diet Coke, or stay away from junk food. But what are little things that we can do? And the biggest example I have, and one that you know we really do promote a lot on this show. What about making amends with somebody? What about, you know, pulling out, like, a card you can buy one for a dollar at Wally World and writing a note to somebody that says, “Look, I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings. I was wrong?” And mailing it off? Do you think that could be, like, a powerful new year’s resolution?

Michelle: [00:21:04] It could be. That I don’t know. I, personally, would never do such a thing.

Gabe: [00:21:06] But why? Why would you never do it? Because I know you, Michelle. I mean, we’re friends and we’ve worked together for a long time and you do have regrets. There are people that you feel badly for the way that you treated them. What would be so hard about just writing, “You know I’m really sorry for the way that I treated you. And I hope you’re OK. Sincerely, Michelle” and dropping in the mail? The whole thing would cost you like two bucks and 20 minutes.

Michelle: [00:21:28] I don’t think there’s anyone I really need to do that for.

Gabe: [00:21:32] What about a thank you note? What about a thank you note to somebody that’s no longer in your life? What about, like, you know, I’m going to use your lacrosse coach because you talk about her all the time. What about dropping her a note to say, you know, thanks for looking out for me when I was in college. Because of you, I’m a better person?

Michelle: [00:21:47] I speak with her, still. It’s not like I don’t talk to her.

Gabe: [00:21:50] Have you ever thanked her?

Michelle: [00:21:51] Yes.

Gabe: [00:21:52] What about your mom? You ever thank her?

Michelle: [00:21:53] Probably.

Gabe: [00:21:54] Probably? That was like like for real. Every single person that heard that probably was like bullshit like like seriously like like all 20 thousand of our listeners all said bullshit at the exact same time. There is not a person within the sound of your voice and it’s recorded. So they’re like backing it up listening to it again and saying bullshit again. They can’t believe that you won’t even thank your mom on this show. She’s not even here.

Michelle: [00:22:23] Thank you, Mom.

Gabe: [00:22:24] Thank you, Mom. Because of you I am alive.

Michelle: [00:22:28] She didn’t do anything else for you?

Gabe: [00:22:29] I think that’s a lot. I mean you know birth and all. She also cooks.

Michelle: [00:22:35] I mean, it’s pretty easy to make you. I’m just saying.

Gabe: [00:22:37] Wow. That’s not how I’ve heard the story. Oh, God! There was a Dodge Charger and a parking space in rural Pennsylvania there was –

Michelle: [00:22:51] What?

Gabe: [00:22:51] Yeah. It was a mess. It was a mess. I was not conceived in love. I was conceived in some sort of, like, cold lusty Valentine’s Day in 1970. It was a mess. It was just a mess.

Michelle: [00:23:03] That’s really hot. Gabe tell me more.

Gabe: [00:23:06] That’s one of those pre-recorded ones that Adam just stuck in.

Michelle: [00:23:12] [Laughter]

Gabe: [00:23:13] Michelle, what are some easy New Year’s resolutions that anybody can do that will have lasting improvements on our mental health? And that’s relatively simple?

Michelle: [00:23:23] How about being more open with your therapist?

Gabe: [00:23:27] That would be a good one.

Michelle: [00:23:28] I mean, don’t you think that you’ve ever been at little, maybe, quiet with your therapist on certain topics? And there’s things you don’t talk about, even though you know you’re supposed to talk about the things you don’t want to talk about?

Gabe: [00:23:41] I completely agree. What about writing a nice note on your mirror every morning for you to see when you get home? Something like, “You’re a good person. I like you. You did great today. You’re awesome? Don’t forget to listen to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a podcast ?” You know, stuff like that. What about. I mean they’re daily affirmations.

Michelle: [00:24:01] A note for yourself?

Gabe: [00:24:02] Yeah. Like write it in the morning and that way when you get home from work or school or the activities of the day you see it on the mirror. Like in your bathroom.

Michelle: [00:24:10] Yeah, but I have a roommate.

Gabe: [00:24:12] Okay. I mean, that one would be creepy. I mean, he might think that you’re hitting on him.

Michelle: [00:24:15] I know. That would be, like, really weird.

Gabe: [00:24:17] So that only works if you have your own bathroom. But you can also write it on a calendar. You can also write it. You can send an email to yourself every day. You can use like Gmail has a scheduling feature so you can you can schedule an email to just automatically send it to you later. Or just literally just write it on a calendar. Go buy one of those paper calendars and every day at the end of the day write a note about something that you did well. It forces you to think about why you’re a good person. That would be an easy New Year’s resolution.

Michelle: [00:24:46] To write myself notes?

Gabe: [00:24:48] Positive affirmations. To write a positive affirmation about yourself or your day.

Michelle: [00:24:53] Ok.

Gabe: [00:24:55] But it’s easy. It’s not hard.

Michelle: [00:24:57] It’s a lot of, lot of, notes. I don’t need to be writing myself all these notes. I don’t need to do that.

Gabe: [00:25:02] Look, I didn’t say write yourself a love letter. I said write a sentence. You can’t come up with one positive sentence every day?

Michelle: [00:25:07] Why do I need to write one positive sentence every day? I don’t need that in my life.

Gabe: [00:25:11] You don’t need to hear one positive thing everyday about Michelle Hammer?

Michelle: [00:25:15] I hear it from other people.

Gabe: [00:25:16] Really?

Michelle: [00:25:17] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:25:18] People are just following you around complementing you?

Michelle: [00:25:19] All the time. All the time.

Gabe: [00:25:21] Wow!

Michelle: [00:25:21] My Instagram comments.

Gabe: [00:25:23] Is this in your heart?

Michelle: [00:25:23] Heart, heart  heart, heart. All of my Instagram, haha.

Gabe: [00:25:27] Yes, we all know that social media is the best place to get positive affirmation.

Michelle: [00:25:32] Well, it’s better than my mirror. For my roommate who put up positive things about himself and I thought they were mine. Just kidding.

Gabe: [00:25:40] If he starts doing it we know he listens to the show.

Michelle: [00:25:41] Oh my God. That would be so funny. Gabe?

Gabe: [00:25:44] Yes.

Michelle: [00:25:44] All in all, do you just not like New Year’s resolutions?

Gabe: [00:25:49] I think that New Year’s resolutions are kind of a trap. But I think that they can be made to work for us because if it makes us think, “Hey, I need to do something nice for myself and I’m going to take positive steps to make it work.” I think it can be a very positive thing. But I also think it’s kind of sad that we only want to make ourselves better once a year. I mean, why do we only have New Year’s resolutions? What about trying to make ourselves better in February, or March, or April. or November, or I don’t know some other month I can’t think of right now? Why do we only want to be better now? We started thinking about it for two weeks in December and then we fail miserably in January and then we beat ourselves up the rest of the year. And I think that that’s kind of nonsense. And I think there’s a lot of data that says that one, we reach way too high and two, we don’t have a plan. I sincerely hope that you get up at 10 a.m. every day, Michelle. And I do think that you can do it. But I don’t think you’ll do it if you don’t have a plan. And I think that I can drink less Diet Coke, but I don’t think that I’ll do it without a plan. And my New Year’s resolution for you is for you to get up earlier because I think you waste a lot of the day and that you don’t get a lot of stuff done. Like really valuable stuff. Valuable stuff for you, valuable stuff for the podcast, valuable stuff for the mental health community. And it just kind of bums me out that you sleep the day away. But I practice radical acceptance and I know that that’s none of my business.

Michelle: [00:27:15] Yup.

Gabe: [00:27:16] You should totally subscribe to that service where they call you though. Mama Hammer, if you’re listening, I give you permission to call your daughter every morning at 10:00 a.m. to wake her up. It is her New Year’s resolution, and we want to put her in a position to succeed. Michelle, what are you gonna say at 10:00 a.m. every morning when your mom calls?

Michelle: [00:27:35] Is not that late yet.

Gabe: [00:27:38] Honey, it’s 10:00. It is. It’s totally 10:00.

Michelle: [00:27:40] Yeah, liear.

Gabe: [00:27:40] No, I’m not lying.

Michelle: [00:27:42] In five minutes.

Gabe: [00:27:44] No, it’s not five more minutes.

Michelle: [00:27:45] I don’t want to get up.

Gabe: [00:27:46] You can do it. Gabe believes in you.

Michelle: [00:27:48] No.

Gabe: [00:27:49] That’s true. He thinks you’re going to fail. Don’t you want to get up to prove him wrong?

Michelle: [00:27:54] No.

Gabe: [00:27:54] You really want Gabe to be right?

Michelle: [00:27:56] I don’t care.

Gabe: [00:27:56] And you know what happens when Gabe’s right, he never lets it go.

Michelle: [00:27:59] Who cares?

Gabe: [00:28:01] You should get up.

Michelle: [00:28:02] I sleep. Me sleep.

Gabe: [00:28:04] Wow. Even from this vantage point right now, you have already described failure. You did not even describe your New Year’s resolution as a success. I asked you five different times and gave you every opportunity to succeed in your mind. Even in your dream you could not succeed. I see great things. Thank you everybody for listening to this week’s episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. We hope you have a great 2019! If you make no other New Year’s resolutions, go to store.PsychCentral.com and resolve to buy a shirt to support the podcast. Define normal. We don’t want you to do it. We do want you to wear the shirt. Thank you everybody. And we will see you next week.

Michelle: [00:28:52] Happy 2019!

Announcer: [00:28:53] You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself. Head over to iTunes, or your preferred podcast app, to subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral dot.com. The show’s official Web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at show@PsychCentral.com. Thank you for listening and share widely.

Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

 

MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-new-years-resolutions-from-a-bipolar-and-a-schizophrenic/

How Therapists Can Become Seat-of-the-Pants Counselors

I have been a therapist for four decades, working in a variety of settings, serving children and adults, individuals, couples, families and groups. My rolodex brain is filled to overflowing with ideas and interventions. Sometimes when I teach Continuing Education Classes for social workers, I am asked to offer more theory. Although I also have that stored in my cranium, I remind them that they can get theory from books. From me they get hands-on practical skills to incorporate into their practice and their own lives. My take on it is that the more capable we are at exploring our own shadows and strengths, the more adept we will be as guides for our clients.

Therapists are “privileged listeners” — like hairdressers, clergy, bartenders and cab drivers. Clients rely on us to create a safe space for their emotional expression, and to keep those expressions confidential. It’s an honor and a sacred trust. 

Recently, as I have been working with several clients who have symptoms of OCD, I am challenged to come up with strategies to help them circumnavigate the inexorable pull of the obsessive behaviors. Many of them have shared that they compare themselves to others, that they feel they are woefully lacking in some ability or quality, that they will never be enough. As a writer, metaphors are my mainstay.

Today, when working with a tween client, we were taking a look at his most recent symptoms related to body image. What came to me as he was comparing himself to an idealized version of what he though he was supposed to look like, was the Goldilocks and the Three Bears concept. The mama bear and papa bear’s chairs and beds were either too soft or too hard, but the baby bear’s were “just right.” His ursine parents’ porridge was either too hot or too cold, but his was “just right.” I then whipped out a piece of paper and wrote those two words on it and asked him to have it handy in case he forgot.

We then did what I call The Body Love Dance that I learned when becoming a Laughter Yoga Leader. It begins with the participants standing and engaging in a call and response series of affirmations about various body parts. “I love my hair. I really, really love my hair. Thank you, hair,” and so on down to toes and everything in between. Silly? Yes. Fun? Absolutely. Effective in helping people overcome body shaming and comparison? You bet.

My client agreed to do it with his family. He didn’t think he was too cool to do it in my office, so he thought it would be even easier at home. When he was distracted by his obsessive thoughts, he agreed to add that song into his repertoire of skills.

Another client is plagued by sometimes overwhelming anxiety and feels a need to run away mentally from the fear thoughts. He is a master at the “what if?” game. A few days ago, I heard something on NPR (National Public Radio) about the various types of road races. I think the interview subject was a long-distance runner. One of the races had zombies chasing the runners to encourage them to run faster. I suggested that he think of the anxiety as hungry zombies determined to eat his brain. He laughed as I did my outstretched arms, moaning imitation. So, we figured out that if he could chop them up into tiny pieces, then they couldn’t harm him. He also referenced a scene from a Harry Potter movie/book in which sea zombies pulled people under water. In this case, he mentioned something about using fire-making spells to protect him from succumbing. He agreed to incorporate them into his practice.

Sometimes it involves tapping into their spirituality, so they can incorporate it as a therapeutic tool. Even clients who say they don’t have religious beliefs, or a spiritual practice generally have something that binds them to the transcendent. This connection might come through time in nature, a creative outlet or a relationship with a loved one.

A client in addiction recovery who spends time “in the rooms” is likely to be immersed in spiritual lingo. They might hear “let go and let God,” the word “God” spelled out as “Good Orderly Direction,” and the mainstay Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Several years ago, while I was working in an outpatient drug and alcohol rehab clinic. I’d gone in on a Saturday to catch up on some paperwork. A young man appeared at my office door looking for a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that normally was held at that time.

He’d been clean of heroin for about a month and had promised his rehab counselor he’d go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Visiting the area for a family gathering, he’d looked online for the closest meeting, and our address showed up. The meeting had been canceled, and the website hadn’t been updated. I checked online and didn’t find another meeting in the area.

He asked if we could have our own meeting, referring to Matthew 18:20: “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” I gladly agreed. We recited the Serenity Prayer. He read the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions complements of Alcoholics Anonymous, then he shared his story. We talked about music (he was wearing a Jimi Hendrix shirt) and family (his wife was one of his biggest supporters).

Before he left, he asked if I’d write in his notebook that he’d attended a meeting, and I was pleased to do so. We acknowledged that a “miracle moment” had taken place: He’d shown up where we both needed him to be.

Although appropriate boundaries are essential in therapeutic relationships, therapists should remember that we have many of the same deep questions that our clients do. When we connect with them as one human being seeking another, that’s when therapy becomes sacred between us and a therapist can become a seat of the pants counselor.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-therapists-can-become-seat-of-the-pants-counselors/

25 Powerful Prompts to Help You Pick Your New Year’s Resolution

Often we pick resolutions that we think we should do. We should put ourselves on a diet and start going to the gym. We should do anything we can to lose weight. We should stop eating ______. We should get organized. We should have a capsule wardrobe. We should make more money. We should go for the promotion. We should read a book a week. We should be ________ or ________.

And, not surprisingly, we don’t stick to these resolutions.

Because who wants to follow some arbitrary goal? Who wants to follow someone else’s rules? Who wants to maintain a resolution or intention that doesn’t connect to a deep desire? Who wants to do something they actually don’t want to do?

The new year is a time of hope and optimism, said Simon Niblock, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Austin, Texas, dedicated to helping men and their partners overcome some of life’s more challenging experiences. Which is wonderful, because we can take that enthusiasm, energy and joy and channel them into creating resolutions that truly nourish us on a deeper, more meaningful, more fulfilling level.

Below you’ll find questions, activities and considerations, to help you reflect on what you actually want to experience, savor and strive for in 2019.

1. Ask yourself: How do I want to feel at the end of 2019? said Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW, an attachment-focused therapist, who specializes in working with individuals and couples as their families grow at her private practice Heirloom Counseling in Asheville, N.C.
2. Pick a word to guide your actions, such as “courage” or “integrity,” Gillette said. “How will you align your actions and behaviors with this word?”
3. Focus on less. “Resolutions are not always about doing more of something,” said Kirsten Brunner, MA, LPC, a perinatal mental health and relationship expert in Austin, Texas. “Sometimes it is about doing less or cutting something out.” She suggested asking: “In what activities or areas did you feel the most drained in 2018? How can you commit to doing less of these activities? Or [how can you] make adjustments to make them less draining?”
4. If you’ve already picked a resolution, ask yourself: “How and why did I connect with [this specific] resolution? Am I choosing this resolution out of obligation…?” said Niblock, founder of Man Up Therapy, a therapeutic service assisting men in overcoming the stigma of seeking mental health services.
5. Consider what you’d like to learn about yourself in 2019, Gillette said.
6. Focus on funny. “Laughter is relaxing, healing and energizing – we can all use more of it,” Brunner said. Think about what really makes you laugh, and then incorporate that into your daily life.
7. What memories do you want to create? Gillette said. “We can’t always control the course that time will take, but we can set intentions to create memories that feel good and satisfying.”
8. Honor your natural tendencies. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? According to Brunner, introverts replenish their energy with quiet, solitary activities, while extroverts get filled up with social, interactive activities. “Think about which activities fill up your personal gas tank and commit to doing two of those on a weekly basis.”
9. Reflect on your resources. Think about what you already have to meet your resolution, and what you might still need, said Niblock. For instance, maybe you’d like to hire a therapist or coach, or take a class.
10. Create a list of priorities, Gillette said. “How does this feel different than a resolution?”
11. Think super small. Brunner shared these examples: Every night, ask your partner how their day went. List three things you’re grateful for every morning. Drink one glass of water as soon as you get up. But make sure there’s a big “why” behind your bite-sized commitments. That is, make sure that your small actions are connected to your core values.
12. Name one hope for 2019, and identify the incremental steps you need to take to fulfill it, said Niblock.
13. “Think back to a time in your life when you felt the happiest or most fulfilled,” said Brunner, co-author of the forthcoming book Birth Guy’s Go-To Guide for New Dads: How to Support Your Partner Through Birth, Breastfeeding & Beyond. Think about the specifics and reasons for this. “How can you incorporate what was so beneficial to you into the New Year?”
14. Reflect on your most important relationships. According to Gillette, “What did you do well? What could you improve? What was missing? Relationships give us the opportunity to not only grow individually but recognize our growth through our interactions with others.”
15. Reflect on your relationship with yourself. What do you need to build a stronger, more forgiving, more compassionate bond with yourself? More alone time? A perspective shift? Sessions with a therapist?
16. Create a collage of words and images that you connect to. Think of this as a vision board for your inspiring intentions. Use it, too, as a reminder of the path you’d like to stay on in 2019, should you veer off.
17. Imagine you’re 80 years old. “What will you look back on and wish that you did more or less of?” Brunner said.
18. Listen to a guided meditation (like this one on YouTube) that helps to ground and center you, and to reflect on a truly meaningful resolution.
19. Improve your self-talk. Brunner shared one method for doing that: List the “things you want to believe about yourself or manifest in your life. Write them down as if they are happening right now. Read them to yourself at least twice a day.” For instance, she said, you might jot down: “I am whole and complete, just the way I am,” or “I accomplish everything I need to in a day.”
20. Consider your relationship with technology, and how you can make it work for you. For instance, if you’re frequently, mindlessly checking social media on your phone (and feeling awful about yourself), Brunner recommended “uninstalling your social media apps before dinnertime so that you aren’t tempted to check them in the evening.” Think about how technology can add to your life, instead of taking away from it.
21. “Choose three key words that would represent the way you want to experience the year ahead,” Niblock said.
22. Appeal to your senses. What do you want to taste, smell, see, hear, and feel in 2019?
23. Schedule weekly or monthly check-ins in 2019. Use this time to reflect on how you’re really doing, what your needs are and whether your resolution still feels genuine and meaningful. Because you are allowed to change your mind, and to change. You are allowed to change resolutions if you’d like. You are allowed to abandon them altogether.
24. What do you think would be fun to do? Often as adults we become very serious (understandably). What would happen if you let fun, play and curiosity create your resolution?
25. Put on your favorite music and get out some art supplies (whatever you have on hand). Think about the new year, and what you’d like it to look like. Then start drawing, painting or coloring. Don’t think much about it. Just let your hands work. Welcome whatever arises. After you’re done, reflect on what you’ve created. Does it provide any hints for the resolution you’d like to set? Or maybe it simply reminds you to add more art-filled sessions into your life.

When setting resolutions, the key is to do what works best for you. Maybe that’s a simple, clear-cut, practical goal that inspires you. Maybe that’s a single word that guides everything you do in 2019. Maybe it’s something else entirely.

Either way, a meaningful, fulfilling resolution originates from you. From your heart. From your soul.

Happy New Year!

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/25-powerful-prompts-to-help-you-pick-your-new-years-resolution/

Writing for Bliss in the New Year

One of the many beautiful aspects about the beginning of a new year is that it can serve as an inspiration for change, and a new way of doing and thinking about things. It can also be an excellent time to kick-start a daily writing practice. I say practice, because like meditation, when you’re starting to write, it’s best to do so every day so that you get in the rhythm of writing.

Why Write?

Many people write for themselves as a means of self-discovery and transformation. Others may write to share their messages with the world, and some may begin to write not necessarily with the intention to share what they’ve written, but then they realize during the writing process that they do want people to read what they’ve written.

And then there are those individuals who may write with the intention of healing themselves during the process. Writing can also help people with creative problem-solving and heighten intuitive awareness. For example,  Elizabeth Maynard Shaefer, in her book Writing Through the Darkness (2008), said that writing can help with depression and lead to an amazing adventure—often calming, soothing, stirring, and sometimes joyful. Shaefer and others like her may have begun to write in order to heal themselves, but then they found that they enjoyed sharing their work in their roles as journalists, poets, memoirists, or bloggers.

It’s wonderful to get readers’ feedback on thoughts and musings. However, in my writing workshops, I remind participants not to get too bogged down in thinking about publishing their work, but rather, to simply enjoy the journey as it unfolds.

Many people who want to begin a writing practice are unsure where to start, so a new year can be an opportunity to reflect on the past or embark on a different path for the future. It can also be a time to be more mindful of the blessings around you and figure out how to avail yourself of them.

If you believe in New Years’ resolutions, you know that it’s certainly fun to make them, but studies have shown that they’re often broken by the month of February. One way to prevent this from happening is to take the time to write them down in a notebook, journal, or on your laptop.

Stream-of-Consciousness Writing

Basically, there are two types of writing: stream-of-consciousness and prompt-directed. The former is about writing continuously for fifteen or twenty minutes without stopping. In this type of writing, you’re able to tap into your subconscious mind. It’s also a way to access your authentic thoughts and inner voice. Stream-of-consciousness writing is also sometimes called “free writing” or “automatic writing,” which was a term coined by writer Andre Breton. Some people have found that engaging in this type of writing can put them into a sort of trance while they get in touch with their subconscious mind. I

n this type of writing, there’s no beginning, middle, or end. You’re writing whatever pops into your head. You might begin by recording your holiday experiences and then find yourself writing about your first love affair. In other words, this type of writing flows, regardless of where the words lead. Your pen keeps moving (or you keep tapping the keys on the keyboard). This is a way to release the messages of your heart, tap into your subconscious mind, and let go of any inhibitions.

Prompt-Directed Writing

This type of writing allows you to delve even deeper into the creative process. It’s also an effective way to step outside of your comfort zone and write about something you might not have considered before. One prompt can also lead to a myriad of other ideas.

After engaging in some stream-of-consciousness writing, consider using prompts to inspire you even further. Here are some you might wish to try:

1. Write a letter to yourself where you reflect on this past year. How did it go for you? What might you do differently to make things better in 2019? Discuss your challenges, hurdles, accomplishments, and concerns.
2. Write about those people or situations that inspired you in 2018.
3. Write about any intentions you’d like to set for 2019 and how you plan on manifesting them.
4. Write about what you’ll do to nurture yourself in 2019. What brings solace to your body, mind, and spirit?
5. Write about what you’re grateful for and what makes you happy. Many of us tend to journal when things aren’t going so well, but when we make a habit of noticing all that is positive around us, we’re more apt to focus on the light instead of the darkness in our lives. As author Shakti Gawain once said, “The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” Expressing gratitude also offers hope and will bring a smile to your face.
6. Write about what you can do to develop your intuition. It has been said that intuitive people follow their instincts and listen to the voices of their souls. For some, this is a developed skill; but for others, it comes more naturally. Write down some questions or concerns you have going into 2019. Stop for a moment and look to your inner soul or higher self, and write down the answers that come to you. Try to write automatically, using a stream-of-consciousness approach for fifteen to twenty minutes.

I wish you a happy and prosperous 2019!

References

Pennebaker, J. W. (1990). Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

Raab, D. (2017). Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life. Ann Arbor, MI: Loving Healing Press.

Shaefer, E. M. (2008). Writing Through the Darkness. Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.

Stockdale, B. (2009). You Can Beat the Odds. Boulder, CO: Sentient Publications.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/writing-for-bliss-in-the-new-year/