How to Begin Journaling for Stress Relief

The therapeutic benefits of journaling have been scientifically proven. Journaling can be an effective tool for stress management, the processing of difficult emotions, and creating personal growth. It has also been linked to important health benefits like decreasing the symptoms of asthma, arthritis, and other health conditions, increasing cognitive functioning, increasing the immune system, and counteracting the negative effects of stress.

If you were curious about it, but aren’t quite sure where/how to start, read on for a few tips to help you get started.

Buy a Journal

This seems like the obvious first step. However, what kind of a journal you purchase is important. You can choose from the most beautiful blank books you can find, to a more functional notebook, or your computer. If you go with the blank book option, you can decide between lined or blank pages, with a variety of pens. Use your book to reflect your creativity, or go with functionality first.

It’s all up to you and your tastes. Just go with something you feel comfortable with.

Set Aside Time

One of the most difficult aspects of journaling is not the journaling itself, but finding time to write. It’s important to block off about twenty minutes each day to write, but if you find it difficult to set aside that much time, especially in the beginning, even taking five minutes to jot down a few ideas is better than waiting until you have the full twenty — that could make the difference between forming a habit and merely the memory of when you wanted to create this new habit.

Many people prefer to write in the morning as a way to start their day, or before bed as a way to reflect upon and process the day’s events. However, if your lunch break or some other time is the only window you have, take the time whenever you can get it!

Begin Writing

Just start. Don’t think about what to say; just begin writing and the words will come. However, if they don’t come automatically, having some ideas to prompt you can get your fingers moving. If you need some help getting started, here are some topics to begin the process:

• The best and worst days of your life
• If you could have three wishes…
• Your possible purpose in life
• Your childhood memories and surrounding feelings
• Where you’d like to be in two years
• Your dreams/hopes/fears
• What was important to you five years ago, and what’s important to you now
• What are you grateful for? You might want to start with just one thing, big or small
• What aspect(s) of your life need improving
• How is your mental/physical/emotional health
• What are some challenges you are dealing with at the moment
• Best/Worst case scenario

Write about Thoughts and Feelings

As you write, don’t just vent negative emotions or catalog events; write about your feelings, but also your thoughts surrounding emotional events. Research shows much greater benefits from journaling when participants write about emotional issues from a mental and emotional framework. Relive events emotionally, try to construct solutions and find the lesson(s) learned. Using both aspects of yourself helps you process the event, be more constructive (not reactive), and find solutions to lingering problems.  

Keep Your Journal Private

If you’re worried that someone else may read your journal, you’re much more likely to self-censor, and you won’t achieve the same benefits from writing. To prevent the worry and maximize journaling effectiveness, you can either get a book that locks or keep your book in a locked or hidden place. If using a computer, you can password-protect your journal so you’ll feel safe when you write.

Additional Tips:

• Try to write each day.
• Writing for at least 20 minutes is ideal, but if you only have 5 minutes, write for 5.
• If you skip a day or 3, just keep writing when you can. Don’t let a few days of skipping discourage you from continuing to write in your journal.
• Don’t worry about neatness or even grammar. Just getting your thoughts and feelings on paper is more important than perfection.
• Try not to self-censor; let go of “shoulds”, and just write what comes.

In the end of the day, all you will really need is a journal, an open and honest mind/heart, a pen or a computer, and a few minutes of quiet privacy each day. Sounds like a no brainer since it’s cost effective, a smart investment for your sanity/mental health, and not to mention an easy nonpharmacological way to beat bouts of anxiety.

References:

Anderson, C.M., & Mesrobian Maccurdy, M. (1999). Writing and Healing: Toward an Informed Practice. Urbana, IL: National Council of Teachers of English.

Ullrich, P.M., & Lutgendorf, S.K. (2002). Journaling About Stressful Events: Effects of Cognitive Processing and Emotional Expression. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 24(3): 244-50.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-begin-journaling-for-stress-relief/

When Your Teen is Struggling with Anxiety

Since she was 10 years old, Sophie Riegel felt like something was off. “My friends all seemed so carefree. And I had the weight of the world holding me down.”

Riegel writes these words in her beautiful, invaluable new book, Don’t Tell Me to Relax: One Teens’ Journey to Survive Anxiety (And How You Can Too).

Shortly after, in middle school, Riegel was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), trichotillomania, generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder.

As a parent, you also think that something is off with your teen. They haven’t said anything, but you can feel the difference in their demeanor or behavior.

Maybe your teen has become more avoidant, and refuses to participate in activities they usually enjoy. Maybe they’re having stomach pain, nausea, headaches and/or heart palpitations, which aren’t related to a medical issue. According to OCD and anxiety specialist Natasha Daniels, LCSW, these could be signs that your teen is struggling with anxiety.*

Maybe your teen has told you directly that they’re struggling. Either way, you’re not sure what to do. These tips can help. 

Don’t be dismissive. When trying to support your teen, you might unwittingly minimize and dismiss their struggles, which can create distance and disconnection.

“When we as parents try to normalize a teen’s anxiety, they may get the message that we don’t understand. This can shut down any further openness about their true struggles,” said Daniels, author of Anxiety Sucks: A Teen Survival Guide.

In Don’t Tell Me to Relax, Riegel (and her mom) share examples of what not to say to your teen:

• “Maybe this is just a phase.”
• “Just smile” (“This is the equivalent of telling someone who just got shot to put on a bandage.”)
• “In a few days, you won’t even remember this.”
• “You always get over this. You are fine.”
• “You just need to get out more. Maybe if you exercise more, you will feel better.”
• “You are overreacting.”
• “Do you know how bad you make me feel when you won’t talk to me?” 
• “There is nothing to worry about.”
• “That doesn’t make any sense.”
• “Relax.”

Daniels stressed the importance of validating your teen’s experience and empathizing with how hard it must be. Below are examples of what is helpful to say from Riegel’s book: 

• “Is there something that I am doing that is contributing to your feeling this way?” (“This is a great alternative to ‘What am I doing wrong? I didn’t raise you to be mentally ill,’ or ‘Why are you so screwed up? Was it something I did?’”)
• “I’m here for you.”
• “I don’t understand what you are going through, but I would love to hear how you are feeling. Maybe we could learn about this together.”

Empower your teen to problem solve. Perspective is key in helping teens reduce their anxiety (and knowing how to problem solve is a critical lifelong skill). But “instead of telling your teen why they should think differently, ask them questions like, ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ and ‘If that happened what could you do?’” said Daniels. She noted that this is important to do when your child isn’t in a state of panic.

Share valuable resources. Let your teen know that there are many ways to effectively navigate and reduce their anxiety. This includes seeing a therapist, attending group therapy, taking online courses and reading books about anxiety, Daniels said.

In addition to Anxiety Sucks, she recommended Lisa Schab’s The Anxiety Workbook for Teens. Daniels offers an online class for teens (and adults) with social anxiety called Crush Social Anxiety. She noted that CBT School by Kimberley Quinlan also is a great resource.

Involve your teen in the decision-making process. “If you make all the decisions for [your teen] or force them to seek help, they’ll be closed off and resentful,” Daniels said. “And even the best therapist will have a hard time making progress with an angry teen.”

A better approach, she said, is to tell your teen that it’s critical to “build their skills and get help in some capacity.” Then “offer them several books, several classes and several therapists and have them choose which will work best for them.”

Today, Riegel is a high school senior. She still experiences anxiety before taking a test, speaking and doing interviews, but it’s not as debilitating. Her panic attacks also have decreased.

When her anxiety is at its peak, she can’t feel her legs, and therefore can’t walk. She feels like she’s “in a fog,” and her “mind goes blank.” Her hands “go numb,” and her “tongue feels like it’s swelling,” which makes her slur her words. However, the difference is that now she knows what to do.

Riegel has “an amazing support system,” which includes her parents and twin brother. She attends therapy several times a month. She takes medication and regularly checks in with her psychiatrist. She works out, and cares for her rescue dog, Nash—which has been especially transformative.

“Getting Nash changed my life. Having her near me keeps me grounded. [Caring for her] is a responsibility that I take very seriously and makes me realize that my worries aren’t my biggest priority. Nash and I walk together when I feel anxious. She cuddles up next to me when I panic, reminding me that I am not alone. Nash doesn’t let me ruminate or obsess, as she is always distracting me with her needs.”

When Riegel was in middle school, she gave a presentation about OCD to her class because she wanted mental illness to be taken seriously. “But it only made things worse. I was still bullied, and my mental health started to deteriorate.”

However, years later, a fellow student reached out to Riegel to tell her that because of that presentation, she started going to therapy. This helped Riegel realize that being open about her mental illness could help others feel less alone and seek help, which inspired her to write her book.

“I am living, breathing proof that it is possible to have an anxiety disorder and be successful,” Riegel said. “I am successful not despite having a mental illness, but because of it.”

Riegel uses her anxiety as fuel to accomplish her goals. She’s a straight-A student, All-American athlete, and the president of the board of directors of Here.Now., a Jewish mental health advocacy organization. She’s attending Duke University in the fall.

Riegel said that her anxiety has made her a much better listener and friend. She’s learned what helps her when she’s feeling anxious, and she tries to do the same for others.

Riegel understands that her anxiety doesn’t define her, but “it is important. Without my mental illness, I wouldn’t be who I am today. If I could go back in time and prevent my mental illness, I wouldn’t.”

Help your teen learn to manage their anxiety and channel it. Teach them to empower themselves. They’ll be better for it.

*These are other signs of anxiety in teens.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-your-teen-is-struggling-with-anxiety/

Psychology Around the Net: March 2, 2019

This week’s Psychology Around the Net covers the latest on green spaces and mental health in children, our complex relationships with money, why we’re drawn to conspiracy theories, and more.

Enjoy!

Does Exposure to Green Spaces in Childhood Lead to Better Mental Health? While growing up in urban areas provides a lot of advantages for kids such as easier access to healthcare, education, and amenities, it also could provide some disadvantages — especially in the form of mental health perks, or lack thereof. According to a new study, children who grow up in cities with limited access to green spaces could have up to a 55% greater risk of developing mental health conditions.

‘Delicate Sense of Terror’: What Does Concrete Do to Our Mental Health? On the above note, apparently concrete isn’t doing us any favors, either.

The Psychology of Money: What You Need to Know to Have a (Relatively) Fearless Financial Life: Our relationship with money is a complex one, for both people with mental illnesses and people without. It can cause recklessness, shame, guilt, stress, anxiety — need I go on? However, just like any other complex relationship, our relationship with money can evolve according to the way we handle challenges and opportunities.

How to Say No to Meeting Up With an Acquaintance: Bumping into an acquaintance or an old friend can be fun — right up until they want to make plans to get together and you honestly just don’t have the time or energy (hey, as adults we tend to have a lot on our plates and have to learn how to prioritize) or, quite frankly, the interest (there’s a reason this person is just an acquaintance or hasn’t remained active in your life, after all). Guess what? You don’t have to feel guilty about not wanting to make time for a relationship you aren’t all that invested in, and here are several ways you can gracefully decline without making anyone uncomfortable.

Psychology and the Allure of Conspiracy Theories: While conspiracy theories are nothing new, they might hold a bit more power today thanks to our ability to use the internet to communicate them, discuss them, and expand on them. Because of that power, it’s important to understand why so many of us get wrapped up in conspiracy theories and maybe learn how to determine when we’re grasping at a coping mechanism (as some professionals have labeled comping mechanisms) and when we genuinely believe something’s just doesn’t add up.

Smoking and Alcohol: Double Trouble for the Brain? Among the many harmful health consequences that come along with smoking tobacco, such as cancer, emphysema, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), smoking tobacco also can cause brain problems such as inflammation, chemical changes, and oxidative stress. Did you know that excessive alcohol use can cause the same types of brain health issues? Furthermore, did you know that smoking tobacco and abusing alcohol can increase those types of brain damages?

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-around-the-net-march-2-2019/

3 Ways to Build & Maintain Your Mental Strength

Build your mental and emotional muscles by giving up these patterns.

There has been a great deal of research in recent years about how positive emotions can build your resilience, help you bounce back from setbacks faster, and help you enjoy a better quality of life. However, similar to someone who adds vegetables to their diet, but refuses to give up all the sugary snacks, the full benefit of practicing positivity won’t be realized until some detrimental habits of thought are kicked to the curb.

Amy Morin, a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do, writes that women especially have a tendency to buy into certain thought patterns that drain them. She describes mental strength as having three main parts: thoughts, feelings, and behavior; and they are all interrelated. Her list came out of interviews with women from across the country, and was inspired from the bravery of women speaking out as part of the #MeToo movement.

Here are three ways to build your mental strength:

1. Don’t Compare Yourself to Other People

Oh, the pressure of trying to “keep up with Jones’” or your high school classmates on social media.

Culturally, we are primed to compare ourselves to others—those we know, and those we see in commercials. Morin suggests “creating a rich-enough life that you won’t care what others are doing.” Minimizing exposure to media, social and mainstream, is a good way to start. Instead, focus on what you want to create in your life, and put that time and energy into creating it. It’s important to become aware of when you are comparing yourself, acknowledge your discomfort, and notice when your language includes “should,” “wish,” or “better,” and question those thoughts and ideas.

Morin also suggests competing against yourself to become your personal best and “separating factual thoughts from judgments.”

2. Don’t Stay Silent

Many women have started coming forward and sharing their stories of sexual abuse. This is an important step, and it’s just one example of what women have been silent about. Most women are raised to not speak up, to accept the status quo, and not to make waves. Many women fear they won’t be believed when they speak up, or worse, they’ll be discredited, fired, or further attacked on other levels. We may also blame ourselves when something happens.

Morin says an important first step is to “acknowledge what is happening.” She writes, “part of the reason we stay silent may stem from our inability to recognize when our rights have been violated or when we’ve been objectified.” From there, it’s important to tell someone, and also to speak up for others who aren’t able to speak for themselves.

3. Don’t Fear Breaking the Rules

There are so many rules in our culture, both seen and unseen. As girls, we “are taught to follow the rules,” and we are also generally more geared towards keeping the peace, which involves following the rules. Morin suggests “identifying the unwritten rules you follow” and then being accountable to yourself and your own values. She cautions against “following the rules without considering whether they’re helpful and going with the flow even when you don’t want to.” The only way change will happen is if we are brave enough to question the attitudes that led us to where we are today.

We all have the capacity to build our mental and emotional strength. Many of Morin’s suggestions might feel scary or daunting. As we begin to explore the edges of our courage, and foster that in others around us, we can collectively move toward a future of greater opportunity and resilience.

This post courtesy of Spirituality & Health.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-ways-to-build-maintain-your-mental-strength/

What Do I Do When My Antidepressant Stops Working?

Approximately 25 percent of patients with major depressive disorder (MDD) experience a recurrent depressive episode while on an adequate maintenance dose of antidepressant medications, according to a 2014 metanalysis published in Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience. The clinical term for this medication poop-out or antidepressant tolerance is antidepressant treatment (ADT) tachyphylaxis. While psychiatrists and neuroscientists don’t know exactly why this happens, it could be due to a tolerance effect from chronic exposure to a medication.

I address this topic because I have experienced antidepressant poop-outs myself, but also because I often hear this concern from persons in my depression communities: What do I do when my antidepressant stops working? 

The following strategies are a blend of clinical suggestions from the metanalysis mentioned above and other medical reports I’ve read, as well as my own insights on recovering from a relapse.

1. Consider all reasons for your relapse.

It’s logical to blame the return of your depressive symptoms on the ineffectiveness of a drug; however, I would also consider all other potential reasons for a relapse. Are you in the midst of any life changes? Are your hormones in flux (perimenopause or menopause)? Are you experiencing loss of any kind? Are you under increased stress?Did you just start therapy or any kind of introspective exercise? I say this because I experienced a relapse recently when I starting intensive psychotherapy. While I am confident it will lead to long-term emotional resiliency, our initial sessions triggered all kinds of anxiety and sadness. I was tempted initially to blame the crying and emotional outbursts on ineffective medication, but soon realized that my pills had nothing to do with the pain.

Watch out especially for increased levels of stress, which will commonly drive symptoms.

2. Rule out other medical conditions.

Another medical condition can complicate your response to medications or contribute to a worsening mood. Some conditions that are associated with depression include: vitamin D deficiency, hypothyroidism, low blood sugar, dehydration, diabetes, dementia, hypertension, low testosterone, sleep apnea, asthma, arthritis, Parkinson’s disease, heart disease, stroke, and multiple sclerosis. Get a thorough check up with a primary care physician to rule out any underlying condition.

Make sure to test for a MTHFR gene mutation, how you process folate, which can definitely affect antidepressant results. If you experience any elevation of mood with your symptoms of depression, be sure to discuss those with your doctor. More than half of people with bipolar disorder are misdiagnosed as clinically depressed and don’t receive the proper treatment they need, including a mood stabilizer.

3. Take your medication as prescribed.

Before I list some of the clinical suggestions, it’s worth mentioning that many people don’t take their medication as prescribed. I would like to plead innocent here, however, I acknowledge that there are too many evenings when I forget to take my pills.

ccording to a 2016 review in the World Journal of Psychiatry, about half of the patients diagnosed with bipolar disorder become non-adherent during long-term treatment, a rate similar to other chronic illnesses. Some psychiatrists assert that the real problem isn’t so much the effectiveness of medications as much as it is getting patients to take medications as prescribed. Before switching up your medication, ask yourself: Am I really taking my meds as prescribed?

4. Increase the current antidepressant dose.

Increasing the dose of an antidepressant is a logical next course of action if you and your doctor determine that your relapse has more to do with a medication poop-out than anything else. Many patients take too little medication for too short period of time to achieve a response that can last. In a 2002 review in Psychotherapy and Psychosomatic, doubling the dose of Prozac (fluoxetine) from 20 to 40mg daily was effective in 57 percent of patients, and doubling the 90mg from once weekly to twice weekly was effective in 72 percent of patients.

5. Experiment with a drug holiday or lowering the antidepressant dose.

Since some medication poop outs are a result of a tolerance built up from chronic exposure, the metanalysis recommends a drug holiday among its strategies for tachyphylaxis, however this needs to be done very carefully and under close observation. In some patients where the symptoms are severe, this is not a feasible option. The length is of a drug holiday varies, however the minimum interval required to restore receptor sensitivity is typically three to four weeks. This all seems counterintuitive, however, in some studies, like the one by Byrne and Rothschild published in Clinical Journal of Psychology, decreasing the dosage of an antidepressant led to positive results.

6. Change your drug.

Your doctor might want to switch medications, either to another drug in the same class or to another class. You may need to try several medications to find one that works for you, according to the Sequenced Treatment Alternatives to Relieve Depression (STAR*D) Study, the largest and longest study ever conducted to evaluate depression funded by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

If the first choice of medication does not provide adequate symptom relief, switching to a new drug is effective about 25 percent of the time. It might make sense to introduce a drug that has an entirely different mechanism of action in order to regain the response blunted by the drug tolerance of the one you’re on.

The transition between meds needs to be handled carefully. Typically it’s better to introduce the new drug while tapering off the old, not to quit it abruptly.

7. Add an augmentation drug.

According to the STAR*D study, only one in three patients in the first sequence of monotherapy (that is, taking one drug) achieved remission. Meta-analyses of antidepressant trials of nonchronic patients with major depressive disorder report remission rates of 30 to 45 percent on monotherapy alone. Augmentation drugs considered include dopaminergic agonists (i.e. bupropion), tricyclic antidepressants, buspirone, mood stabilizers (lithium and lamotrigine), antipsychotic medications, SAMe or methylfolate, and thyroid supplementation. According to STAR*D, adding a new drug while continuing to take the first medication is effective in about one-third of people.

8. Try psychotherapy.

According to a 2013 Canadian Psychology Association report, mild to moderate depression can respond to psychotherapy alone, without medication. They found that psychotherapy is as effective as medication in treating some kinds of depression and is more effective than medication in preventing relapse in some cases.

Also, for some patients, the combination of psychotherapy and medication was more beneficial than either treatment on its own. According to a study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry, adding cognitive therapy to medication for bipolar disorder reduced relapse rates. This study examined 103 patients with bipolar 1 disorder who, despite taking a mood stabilizer, experienced frequent relapses. During a 12-month period, the group receiving cognitive therapy had significantly fewer bipolar episodes and reported less mood symptoms on the monthly mood questionnaires. They also had less fluctuation in manic symptoms.

It’s normal to panic in the days and weeks your symptoms return; however, as you can see, there are many options to pursue. If the first approach doesn’t work, try another. Persevere until you achieve full remission and feel like yourself again. It will happen. Trust me on that.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-do-i-do-when-my-antidepressant-stops-working/

The Psychology of the Fake Momo Challenge & Other Hoax Child Internet Memes

The latest internet meme supposedly targeting children is called the Momo challenge. It had parents very concerned, just as they were about the Blue Whale challenge before it. Parents spread the news that someone had hacked childrens’ videos on YouTube with a message from “Momo” directing the child or teen to take their own life.

It turns out, however, that the challenge wasn’t actually real. YouTube videos have not been hacked and there’s no evidence that any video was ever posted that had Momo encouraging kids to try out suicide.

This is just one more chapter in a disturbing trend where parents are concerned about something apparently happening on the internet. But focusing their concern entirely on the wrong things.

These internet memes are called viral hoaxes, because (a) they go viral on social media due to concerned adults and parents sharing them with others and (b) they are not real and never were.¹

But millions of people don’t know it’s a hoax when it first starts off. They think it’s real, and with every re-tweet and share, they amplify the fake threat. Meanwhile, the real threats to children on the internet remain.

Momo is actually a sculpture created by Japanese artist Keisuke Aisawa in 2016 called Mother Bird. Like the Blue Whale challenge before it (also more of a viral hoax; or see this full history of it), local TV news stations pick up these scary stories — while never questioning the authenticity of them — as something to easily fill a few minutes in their local broadcasts. Plus it makes for great teasers: “What your kids are watching on a popular video site could kill them!”²

Anybody can check on the legitimacy of one of these challenges or questionable scary stories by simply going to the site, Know Your Meme or Snopes.com. There, enterprising researchers dig into the backstory of every internet meme to provide you the full and completely picture. For instance, here’s the entry on Momo and the Momo challenge.

Fear Makes Money

Fear always sells. Local TV news learned this decades ago. If you watched nothing but your local TV news broadcasts, you’d think your town was overrun with crime, automobile accidents, fires, and terrible developing weather events.

Once a scary internet meme starts spreading, enterprising individuals — and even entire companies — start to take advantage of it in order to make money. They do this by creating content — articles and videos — that talk about the meme as though it is real. They push out video warnings about it. They flood social media with the links to their content, which again gets virally shared as a public service announcement by well-meaning parents.

All of this content is monetized, either on YouTube or through something like Google Adsense. That means every time someone views one of these articles or watches a video, the publisher is making money. In reaction to the fake Momo challenge, Google (the parent company of YouTube) said it would de-monetize any videos talking about the challenge. By removing the monetary incentive to produce these videos, Google is hoping to remove the reinforcements that create this viral cycle.

The problem is the time lag: that it’s been more than a week since the Momo challenge entered into people’s consciousness. By the time articles start making the rounds debunking a meme, the publishers have already made their money. A week’s worth of revenue from this type of viral hoax is still pretty significant.

The Problem of Spreading Viral Hoaxes

Viral hoaxes of this nature spread for one reason and one reason only. People are far too lazy to actually look up the story on Snopes.com or KnowYourMeme.com to confirm before sharing it. It’s just so easy to share or retweet something that people just click the button and believe they’re doing their friends and followers a community service.

We always seem to assume that someone else must have verified the story’s truth, or else why else would they be sharing it, or talking about its dangers? But nobody is verifying anything before sharing it. And that’s the problem. (That’s also the underlying problem with “fake news” on social media.)

Meanwhile, parents are ignoring (or at least often paying far less attention to) the actual, real dangers that the internet can pose to young children and teenagers.

Taylor Lorenz shares that perspective over at The Atlantic:

The problem is, these stories are only ever a distraction. They offer false reassurance and an easy fix to the wrong problem. If you can protect your child from the Momo challenge, the thinking goes, you can protect them from bad things on the internet. Unfortunately, maintaining kids’ safety online is a much more complicated and delicate task. “This whole ‘Momo is making kids commit suicide’ is a digital version of playing Beatles records backwards to hear Satanic messages,” says Ben Collins, a journalist who covers misinformation. “It does a real disservice to all the harmful stuff targeting children and teens on YouTube.”

What many parents miss is that the platforms themselves often perpetuate harm. Their automated moderation systems fail to flag inappropriate content. Their skewed content-recommendation algorithms promote extremist beliefs. They don’t protect kids against cyberbullying from peers, they milk kids under the age of 13 for money and engagement, and they promote truly gruesome content.

In other words, a lot of platforms — especially video services like YouTube — do a pretty horrible job in protecting kids. There’s an entire generation that has grown up with the poor moderation tools and algorithms used on YouTube already. Only now are social media and other sharing platforms beginning to fully realize the scope and severity of the problem. It’s too little, too late.

What You Can Do to Better Protect Your Child

The best thing you can do for your children then is to monitor and be aware of their online use of these and other services (some that you may have never even heard of). Don’t allow them to surf the internet alone as a child, and keep them in walled gardens of safe child-oriented services until they’re a teenager.

Use negative content they find online as teaching moments. Explain to a child that not everyone is nice in the world, and some people are purposely mean to just get a reaction from others (such as trolls). Explain that there’s an endless supply of negative content available online, and that they have to sometimes make a conscious choice to not fall down those rabbit holes.

As your child ages into the teenage years, they’re going to want and need more privacy. That includes online privacy too. Good parents recognize when it’s time to give up some of their control over their child, and give them increasing amounts of privacy and responsibility, and see how that goes.

Raising children in an always-connected world is difficult. You can make it easier by not mindlessly repeating stories and memes you haven’t personally verified as being true. And you can learn to be better aware of the actual dangers children online face, actively working to protect them from these real potential problems.

 

For further information

The Atlantic: Momo Is Not Trying to Kill Children

Footnotes:

1. You have to wonder how stupid or naive parents think their children or teens are anyway, that just because a video said, “Hey kids, it’s fun to end your life, give it a try,” they would just go and do it? Kids are usually smarter than their parents give them credit for.
2. If journalism were still alive, one of those reporters would seek out some actual corroboration of the story before reporting on it. Sadly, at the local news level, such journalism is largely out of vogue.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-psychology-of-the-fake-momo-challenge-other-hoax-child-internet-memes/

Best of Our Blogs: March 1, 2019

Have you ever had the experience of sharing something deeply personal to someone you trusted and instead of the validation you needed, they said something like, “Cheer up,” or, “Be grateful?” Or maybe they gave you advice when what you needed was assurance that you weren’t alone, that how you were feeling wasn’t crazy or weird.

The thing is most people didn’t grow up with parents who said the right thing. We didn’t learn it in school unless we went to school to be a therapist.

I’ve said it before that we need to find our own tribe and depend on them. Stop going to the people who can’t tolerate your stuff. They are out there. Don’t give up.

As you’ll read this week, putting on a smiling face when you’re not happy will do more harm than good in the long run. In fact, seeing your life as it is is how you get to a place where you can cheer up and feel grateful. But first you need to address what you’re really feeling and give yourself permission to feel that.

3 Emotions that Identify Subtle Abuse and Disrespect
(Narcissism Meets Normalcy) – You put up with rude and disrespectful behavior more than the next guy. Here’s why.

7 Reasons a Narcissist Engages in Hoovering
(Neuroscience & Relationships) – No matter what you do he or she keeps reappearing in your life. It all makes sense after reading this.

When Smiling Hurts: 10 Reasons People with Depression Feign Happiness
(Relationship Corner) – If you’re suffering, consider putting away the mask. Seeking help will do more good in the long run.

Movies R Us – 4 Shows and Why they Matter
(Sex, Text & What’s Next) – Does art imitate life? A psychotherapist reviews the reality in movies and television shows.

Four Kinds of Relationships That Create Depression and Anxiety
(Dysfunction Interrupted) – If you have one of these types of relationships, you’re bound to feel depressed and/or anxious.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/best-of-our-blogs-march-1-2019/