3 Brain Tricks For Great Focus Anytime

The summer slowdown is upon us. Right now you may feel a little unmotivated, to say the least. Unless you’re one of those lucky people who works from the beach, it can be hard to concentrate on the task at hand during the summer months.

You may be dreaming of your vacation and time off, but if there’s still work to do then you need to find a way to kick your motivation into high gear  —  fast.

The truth is, if you keep waiting for inspiration to strike, you’ll be waiting forever. Procrastination can be difficult to overcome, but it all starts with tiny steps that help you take action, then building off that momentum to propel you forward.

If you’re stuck in the summer slump, try one of these productivity tricks to get your head back in the game and get things done:

Identify exactly what’s stopping you.

When you attempt to get started on something, what causes you to give up? Pay attention to the reasons why you procrastinate. By playing the observer, you can spot where your excuses or self-doubt may be tripping you up.

Work in sprints.

In software development, a sprint is a burst of focused, short-term effort on a single feature. You can take a note out of the Agile playbook and apply it to your own work. Time-bounding helps you leverage the power of small wins. By making your goals concrete and measurable, you’ll be able to appreciate and be motivated by your progress.

For example, design a mini-challenge to tackle over the next seven-to-30 days. This could be mapping out a strategic plan that you’ve been too busy to work on. Consider what would get you excited. How about learning new skills or setting up a few networking lunches? Internal motivation is a surefire way to short-circuit procrastination.

Get competitive  —  with yourself.

How many times have you said: “I’ll spend all morning working on this,” only to find yourself distracted and disappointed by lunch? Our brains can focus intensely for only 20–40 minutes at a time, so craft your productivity periods around this.

Set a timer for 25 minutes (do not use your phone  —  too easy to get distracted!). Work nonstop, racing against yourself to get as much done as possible. Using the Pomodoro Technique helps you make headway quickly and avoid falling victim to inertia.

After you’re done, give yourself a break. Stretch. Get up and walk around. Head outside to take in the summer sun. After all, productivity is fruitless if it doesn’t allow you to enjoy life.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-brain-tricks-for-great-focus-anytime/

Think Your Kid Is Smart? Think Again!

Some folks are so proud of their child’s intelligence that they brag about it to the world. Emblazoned on the bumper of their SUV is the message: “My kid’s an honor roll student,” to be replaced years later with a college decal from an elite university.

Since being smart is such a source of pride in our culture, let’s look at what we mean by “intelligence.”

Years ago, intelligence was seen as a single entity, referred to as the “g” factor: “g” for general intelligence. Kids who were in front of the line when God handed out brains were those who scored high on IQ tests and scholastic exams. There was every expectation that these kids would be successful in life or, in the case of a girl, marry a “successful man.”

For those unlucky kids who were not “college material,” boys would learn a trade or use their muscle power to make their way in the world. Girls would become secretaries and/or learn the feminine wiles to “get a man” to take care of her.

As the field of psychology became more sophisticated, we became aware that it was simplistic to think of intelligence as purely a “given factor” while not taking  into account other factors, such as great parenting, excellent educational resources, good mental and physical health, high motivation, sufficient self-confidence, being able to sit still, focus, concentrate and be free from emotional distress.

In addition, the ability to reflect on what you were taught was important. When we do so, we don’t let what was taught just wash over our bodies, touching only the surface. Rather, we consciously think about what we’ve learned, reflecting on what was said, searching for meaning and understanding. We give ourselves time to consider, contemplate, and immerse ourselves in the subject, becoming more informed and familiar with it.

The field of psychology now recognizes that there are different types of intelligence; some are rewarded in school, others ignored. These types are independent of one another, meaning that you can be highly skilled at reading and writing, yet have incredibly weak spatial and social skills. And of course, the reverse is also true.

As our culture has become more diverse, we’ve become aware that other cultures have developed different assumptions about smartness. Some cultures put much more importance on effort and work ethic than many Americans do. Japanese parents would be ashamed to admit what some American parents brag about: “my kids so bright that he gets A’s without even cracking open a textbook.”

I hope that parents can appreciate the concept of “multiple intelligence,” helping their kids (and themselves) develop their minds in intriguing ways. To assist in this journey, Dr. Howard Gardner, a leading developmental psychologist has identified these 8 distinct types of intelligence:

1. linguistic (ability to use language well)
2. logical  (capacity to understand logic and reasoning)
3. spatial (understanding spaces and spatial layouts)
4. musical (capacity to create and relate to musical patterns)
5. bodily kinesthetic (movement and athleticism)
6. understanding other people (common sense, social smarts)
7. understanding oneself (personal and emotional intelligence)
8. understanding the natural world (nature, animals, plants)

Which one(s) do you feel you are smartest in?

Which one(s) would you like to further develop?

Which one(s) do you acknowledge in your kids?

Which one(s) do you ignore in your kids?

In most schools and homes, it’s only the first two forms of intelligence that are truly appreciated. I look forward to the day when I see a bumper sticker that lets the world know: “My kid has a great knack for understanding people;” or “My child is in love with nature.”

©2018

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/think-your-kid-is-smart-think-again/

Psychology Around the Net: June 30, 2018

Happy Saturday!

This week’s Psychology Around the Net brings you some insight on “the curse of knowledge” and writers (what is it…and do we care?), the feedback loops among financial, physical, and mental health and how to stop the damaging effects, why physical injuries affect our mental health, and more!

Do Writers Care for What Psychology Has to Say About the Curse of Knowledge? Vera Tobin, a professor of cognitive science at Case Western Reserve University, Ohio, explains “the curse of knowledge” as such: “[T]he more information we have about something and the more experience we have with it, the harder it is to step outside that experience to appreciate the full implications of not having that privileged information.” Even though “the curse of knowledge” is mostly considered, well, a curse, Tobin attempts to show us that the “detrimental effects” of this “curse” actually are beneficial for good storytelling in her new book Elements of Surprise: Our Mental Limits and the Satisfactions of Plot.

3 Vicious Cycles: Links Among Financial, Physical, and Mental Health: A feedback loop can be easy to start and hard to stop. The feedback loops among financial, physical, and mental health are no different, but there are ways to break the cycles.

Smart Moves: Intelligence Protects Against Mental Illness: New studies have found 600 new genes for neuroticism and 900 new genes for intelligence. Does this point to a rebalancing of nature vs. nurture equation.

How to Be Less Distracted With Your Kids: Sometimes staying present for your child can be difficult. You love your kid, but not every moment is going to be rainbows and butterflies. Maybe sometimes, the present is boring, frustrating, or confusing — which leads you to drift off with your phone, your mental to-do list, or daydreams. Fortunately, there are several tips that can help you become more present with your child — some that take practice, and some you’ll see results with immediately.

How Physical Injuries Affect Your Mental Health: Aside from the fact that some injuries can make it extremely difficult to complete basic tasks like getting dressed, handling personal hygiene, and even replying to a text — all of which can create waves of anger, frustration, and even depression — physical injuries can cause an even more eye-opening realization: You’re not invincible.

Many Psychiatric Conditions Have the Same Genes in Common: According to a study of nearly 900,000 genomes, there is a common set of genes involved in many mental health conditions including depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Finding such patterns can help us working toward learning how and why such mental health problems develop.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-around-the-net-june-30-2018/

Writing Your Heart Out: Re-scripting Your Life and Rewiring Your Brain

One of the most powerful means of expression involves taking pen to paper or fingers to keyboard as emotions spill forth. For those in mental health treatment, it is often a life line.

Sitting with a client recently, I found myself holding back tears as she opened a previously nailed shut window behind which terrifying feelings were held captive. As she maintained a flat affect and read aloud what she had written, it was if she was telling someone else’s story, but we both knew that she was letting loose her demons, a Pandora’s Box of twisted, wing flapping fury. I felt honored that she was willing to lay bare her soul. Writing allows us to do that. I could see the tension melting as she finished. Like the mythical container, Hope was what was left at the bottom of the box.

In my own life, writing has helped me remain “sane and vertical,” amid multiple losses, the deaths of my husband, parents and other family members and friends, personal illness, financial challenges and job changes. I have drawers full of journals from as far back as my college years (1977-1981) and as I periodically peruse them, I shake my head in bewilderment, “Holy smokes, you really believed that stuff?” and even more astonishing, “You still believe some of that stuff?” It is then that I revisit my personal script and am determined to re-write the narrative to smooth the transition from one phase of my life to another.

A few years ago, I attended a workshop called Writing Down the Light taught by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. The intention was that the participants take their life story and the beliefs they held about how life “should be” and transform them to create a more fulfilling outcome. Because of doing the recommended exercises, I discovered new ways to view what had been a longstanding and daunting belief system that told me I needed to be all things to all people and couldn’t allow others to be of support to me. Since then, it is a dynamic that shows up regularly and offers the opportunity to continue to edit my viewpoint.

Your Brain on Ink: A Workbook on Neuroplasticity and the Journal Ladder (It’s Easy to W.R.I.T.E. Expressive Writing) was written by Deborah Ross and Kathleen Adams. In it, they explain the concept of neuroplasticity which allows for creating new neural pathways that help us to heal from physical and emotional challenges.

Writing Exercises to Expand Your Horizons and Alter Your Brain Functioning

• Journaling. Take time regularly (ideally daily) to jot down your observations, impressions, and emotions as way of purging your system. Often, we attempt to contain our feelings so that we don’t disappoint or upset others. A journal is a safe place to get real and raw while knowing that, unless we share it, no one else will read it.
• Full Sensory Writing. Use language that describes your experiences through smell, taste, touch, sound and sight. Color with your creative juices.
• Stream of Consciousness Writing. Ask yourself a question, such as “How do I resolve the conflict with my partner?” Close your eyes, take a breath and begin writing or typing your response. Don’t edit or censor. Let the words flow naturally and when you feel complete, stop. Read aloud what you have written. Hearing your own voice saying the words, anchors them to you. They feel genuine. Your mind accepts them as your own.
• Pre-plan Your Outcome. Ruth Anne Wood who is a writer, speaker, coach and entrepreneur, created a modality called Scripting for Success. Two of the characteristics of this type of writing is that it be done in the third person and as if it has already happened. An example is someone who wants to create a new business. As if it was a newspaper headline, the first part could read, “Local entrepreneur opens doors to her new window business,” and then continue to share the details such as, “Customers show up daily to purchase her products and tell others about her company. By the end of the fiscal year, she has netted $100,000.” What Ruth has discovered is that when she and her clients have utilized this type of writing, scenarios often play out exactly as designed. Clearing the emotional blocks and melting the mental resistance gives way to accomplishment of goals.
• An Attitude of Gratitude. Take time each day to record at least three things you are grateful for. More is better, but that is a way to launch into an awareness of what is working in your life and not just what is troubling. It also sets the stage for calling in more of what you want.
• Tell Me a Story. Describe an incident in your life that felt troubling. Embellish it as you wish and exaggerate it beyond the bounds of what really occurred. Use as many catastrophizing words as you wish. The next step is to change the language, so it has a positive outcome. Be aware of the feelings each one evokes.

Sherry Reiter, Ph.D, LCSW has taken her years of experience as a writer and therapist to pen a book entitled Writing Away the Demons: Stories of Creative Coping Through Transformative Writing. In it, she offers the benefits of evocative writing. She refers to her work as The Creative Righting Center which has a double entendre’ flavor since it reflects her name and the idea that writing can help us to up-right ourselves when we feel swamped by life circumstances and the emotions they evoke.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/writing-your-heart-out-re-scripting-your-life-and-rewiring-your-brain/

Healing from Addiction: Finding the Road to Recovery

Addiction — and recovery — can look differently from individual to individual. As surely as we can be addicted to alcohol, substances, or medications, we can just as easily be addicted to love, work, sex, dieting, exercise, skin picking, and food. Addiction can refer to any compulsive and unhealthy attachment or behavior that one uses as a way of artificially enhancing, numbing, or avoiding feelings.  Addictions have negative consequences and are difficult to just “stop” doing. 

There are certainly different levels of medical and psychological risks associated with different kinds of addiction, and recovery.  Individuals who are at high risk for dangerous or destructive consequences from addictive behaviors should seek professional direction, support, and monitoring from healthcare professionals, including doctors and addiction therapists, and emergency medical attention if needed.

Assuming medical and psychological stability have been achieved, the road to recovery and associated healing work has many aspects. And it truly is a road: recovery is a lifelong journey that will inevitably have peaks and valleys, joys and sorrows, highs and lows.

Ways to Heal and Find Your Road to Recovery

1. Yes, it is one day at a time.

You may have heard the expression “one day at a time” in reference to taking each day in recovery, getting sober, or stopping an addictive behavior. That’s because focusing on the enormity of the long term without a substance or behavior can seem intensely overwhelming and drive people back to the same thing they are trying to decrease. Focusing on one day at a time is the equivalent of setting small, manageable goals and keeping your attention on what you can control … yourself in the here and now.

2. Educate yourself.

Too often recovery is framed as a mystical process. There certainly can be a deeply soulful and even spiritual aspect to any life change process. But successful recovery is achieved by taking active, empowered, and informed steps towards the desired change. Any athlete will tell you that hoping for change in their performance isn’t an effective strategy — hope and faith is helpful, and it also takes commitment, determination, support, knowledge, and practice. And surgeons don’t go into the operating room “hoping” to have an epiphany about the procedure they’re about to do. So utilize the best recovery science the field has to offer from reputable addiction science professionals, regardless of the addiction with which you struggle.

3. Enlist support.

Feelings of shame, embarrassment, anger, depression, and fear of judgement often deter individuals from enlisting support from the important people who can help them. Isolation is detrimental to recovery in every way. It reinforces the secrecy and minimizing that is usually a part of most addictions. Isolation robs individuals of helpful support in the tough times, and also creates an accountability vacuum. So reach out and let people in your world know what’s going on, and how they can help you. Utilize people you trust and can count on, wherever they might be in your world: a faith organization, a social group, family members, friends, counselors, or even coworkers if appropriate.

If you have concerns about things getting complicated with people you know, or if the people you know are also addicted, do a quick internet search for local or internet-based support groups and organizations that can help.

4. Carry a “reasons” list.

When faced with a trigger or temptation, our reasons for getting into recovery can seem vague and distant. Make a list of the top five motivations you have for getting into recovery. Make copies, and put them everywhere you can to remind you why you are engaging in the recovery process. Hang one on the refrigerator, one on the bathroom mirror, one in your wallets, purses, backpacks, or anything else you carry with you, and consider making it the wallpaper on your tablet, computer, and phone. This will help you reinforce your motivations to yourself at regular intervals and help you stay focused on the reasons you are working so hard. If someone — like a child or a spouse — is one of your reasons, put their picture on your list.

5. Forget willpower and embrace strategy.

Willpower doesn’t respect addiction. That’s what makes it an addiction. So rely on strategy, instead. If you know you’re likely to do the behavior you’re trying to start in certain places, with certain people, or under certain conditions, don’t put yourself in those scenarios. You are no more likely be able to resist the behavior than you were before, just because you’re thinking about it harder. If history says you binge eat a half gallon of ice cream or a bag of cookies every time you have them in the house, stop buying them. If you have a certain friend group that you often have too much to drink with, you might have to host an event in location without alcohol.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/healing-from-addiction-finding-the-road-to-recovery/

Best of Our Blogs: June 29, 2018

For many of us coping or taking care of someone with an illness, life is a constant battle. We lose track of time. We forget the seasons. We grow up and life’s struggles make us hard, inflexible and serious.

I think summer is a great time to return to the sense of lightness and joy characteristic of childhood. Joy and laughter are important tools for the healing journey.

Something as simple as walking on the beach, reading a summery book or watching the sunrise or set, can be beautiful ways to reconnect you with life.

Slip into the ease of the season with our top posts and learn everything from what’s blocking your motivation to how to cure your loneliness.

5 Things That Kill Your Motivation
(Reaching Life Goals) – Before you do the grand things in life, you’ve got to take care of these.

Victim Blaming
(The Recovery Expert) – The next time your abuser tries to reel you in, you’ll know what to do to protect yourself.

Are You a Pleaser? 7 Ways You Sabotage Yourself
(Knotted) – Here are the ways you’re getting in your own way of greater connection.

Is There A Real Remedy For Loneliness?
(Therapy Soup) – These alarming findings on loneliness may make you rethink your previous beliefs about self-fulfillment.

4 Ways to Find Peace After a Toxic Relationship
(The Savvy Shrink) – Are you healing from a recent traumatic relationship? This will help.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/best-of-our-blogs-june-29-2018/

Why Addicts Are Often Lonely People

Addiction is an incredibly lonely disease. However, we typically associate addicts with two extremes when it comes to sociability. On the one hand we imagine the stereotypical “life of the party” who abuses substances to become sociable, friendly, and functional, or we have the depressive addict who takes substances alone, substituting healthy interpersonal relationships for chemicals. The truth is that most addicts may fall somewhere along this spectrum, but they all experience extreme feelings of isolation.

As anyone who has suffered from addiction can vouch for, having a crippling reliance on substances can stem from feelings of isolation, depression, and anxiety. The problem with substances is that they typically only exacerbate these problems in the long run. A developing addiction leads to the addict becoming withdrawn, remote, and emotionally distant. As addiction progresses, it’s not uncommon for addicts to damage relationships, lose the support of family and friends, and spiral into a lonely existence centered around substance use.

Self Medication

We all experience occasional feelings of anxiety, loneliness, or unhappiness, but when those feelings last for prolonged periods of time we often find ourselves searching for something to ease the pain or lighten the burden. Self medicating is a method that people may choose to handle these feelings with. Drugs and alcohol are popular self medication tools because they temporarily distract us from the pain we are experiencing, whether it be relationship issues, financial trouble, general anxiety, or physical pain. The trouble with these drugs is that they only stave of feelings for a temporary amount of time, and leave us feeling more drained of feel good chemicals than we were in the first place.

Loneliness in the United States

A recent study by Cigna Health looked into the self-reported levels of loneliness and mortality within the United States and turned up some pretty staggering results. According to their research, loneliness could have roughly the same impact on mortality that smoking 15 cigarettes a day has. This would mean loneliness is potentially more adverse to your health than obesity! According to the survey, which was distributed among 20,000 Americans:

• The Z Generation and Millennial Generation report feeling lonelier than any other generation in history.
• Students report the highest levels of loneliness among Generation Z and Millennial respondents.
• There was no major difference in responses between men and women or among racial demographics

Isolation and loneliness play a large role in contributing to drug and alcohol addiction. Studies have shown that people who experience more social isolation generally deal with more mental health and substance abuse issues. However, we also know that abusing drugs and alcohol will contribute to even more feelings of isolation and loneliness. It’s a vicious cycle that feeds itself.

The Consequences of Loneliness

Loneliness is also linked to various health issues, including an increased likelihood of developing a substance abuse disorder. These health issues include:

• People who report feelings of loneliness are more likely to experience premature death, have a higher blood pressure, and have a compromised immune system.
• Being lonely could increase your risk of suffering a coronary disease or stroke b7 30%
• People who report feeling lonely are more than twice as likely to also have substance abuse disorder.

“We human beings are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others’ activities. For this reason, it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.”

– Dalai Lama XIV

Why Social Support is Important

Like the Dalai Lama stated, social support is vital to our health as human beings. Social support empowers us to feel welcome, important, loved, and part of something greater. Addicts often use substances to artificially replicate feelings of importance, love, and happiness. But the great irony is that addicts only wind up lonelier than they felt before. Attaining real social support is important because it provides:

A Sense of Purpose

Being called a friend and knowing that you are loved are things that reinforce our sense of value. It’s possible to find purpose without others, but as social beings we are always going to find greater purpose in the context of a social structure.

Feeling Good

Studies have even shown that the support of family and friends can cause antidepressants to work better. Long hugs also release oxycontin in the brain, calming down your fear center and releasing warm tingly feelings.

Longer Life

In this TED talk by developmental psychologist Susan Pinker, she lays out the premise that a good diet and exercise are not the biggest predictors of physical health, but that good social interactions and a healthy network of relationships are actually the most important predictors.

The Rat Park Experiment

One of the most infamous drug experiments that was proliferated during the “War on Drugs” era in the United States was the rat experiment. Rats were placed in a cage containing a feeder bottle of water laced with cocaine and, unsurprisingly, consumed the cocaine in enormous quantities until they died. This experiment supposedly displayed why even just trying an illicit substance could get you hooked, but it didn’t satisfy Bruce Alexander, a researcher at Simon Fraser University.

He recreated the experiment and tweaked one important variable: the cage. In the original experiment, the rats were in a small cage by themselves with no company, no space, and no exercise toys to play with. In Bruce’s new experiment, he constructed Rat Park, filled with everything a rat could desire from tunnels and turn wheels to other rats to play with. This time around, none of the rats got hooked on the drug laced water, which this time was a morphine drip. Alexander’s main point was that it wasn’t necessarily the drug that created addicts, but the cage they were trapped in that drove them to become addicts. When a rat had plenty of things to do, space to be free, and other rats to socialize with, it was far less likely to develop a crippling addiction.

Loneliness affects every person from time to time, but it’s important that you address feelings of loneliness and isolation in a healthy and constructive manner. Talk to friends and family members, or if that’s not possible reach out to a professional in the field of psychology, psychotherapy, or mental health. There are also online resources and forums where you can learn and openly discuss feelings with others.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-addicts-are-often-lonely-people/

Podcast: Fighting Your Fears with Kate Courageous

 

Fear is something we all face in our lives. For some of us (including some who don’t realize it), fear affects our behavior in profound ways, because we haven’t developed the courage to change this. Many people believe that courage is the same as fearlessness. In reality, courage is what allows us to do something in spite of the fear, whether it’s running into a burning building to save someone, touching someone’s pet snake to get over a phobia, or even just asking someone out on a date. Over time, we fall into habits, developing fear-based traits, such as pessimism. Our guest for this episode breaks it all down for us: what these traits are and how to change our behavior to reduce fear’s grip on us.

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Courage Show Highlights:

“It’s way more comfortable to disappear into a haze of Netflix than it is to pitch yourself out for something or be emotionally available.” ~ Kate Swoboda

[1:09]   How Kate became Kate Courageous

[3:44]   What are fear-based habits?

[9:46]   The four fear routines

[14:12] How do we change our routines?

 

 

About Our Guest

Kate Swoboda is creator of YourCourageousLife.com, Director of the Courageous Living Coach Certification at TribeCLCC.com and author of The Courage Habit: How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life. She helps individuals, teams, and companies see where old, fear-based habits have kept people stuck or started to limit what’s possible for an organization, and then start creating more courageous lives by getting into “the courage habit,” a four-part process for behavioral and organizational change.

 

About The Psych Central Show Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. In addition to hosting The Psych Central Show, Gabe is an associate editor for PsychCentral.com. He also runs an online Facebook community, The Positive Depression/Bipolar Happy Place, and invites you to join. To work with Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

 

 

Vincent M. Wales is a former suicide prevention counselor who lives with persistent depressive disorder. In addition to co-hosting The Psych Central Show, Vincent is the author of several award-winning novels and the creator of costumed hero Dynamistress. Visit his websites at www.vincentmwales.com and www.dynamistress.com.

 

 

 

 

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-fighting-your-fears-with-kate-courageous/

How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Wrecks Relationships

Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating. It’s mind baffling. It’s anger provoking. So why do people resort to such relationship-damaging behavior? And why is it so hard to change the pattern?

The pattern typically begins innocuously with a “Yes” and a “No” Problem.

He says, “Sure, I’ll take care of the task.” then he doesn’t.

She calls him on it.

He shrugs his shoulders, “No big deal. I said I’d take care of it.”

“Yes, but when?” she asks.

He says, “Get off my case. I said I’d do it.”

She backs off. Time passes. The task is still not done. She brings it up again.

“I’m busy now,” he says. “Get off my back, will you? I’ll do it in my own damn time, not yours.”

“But you said you’d take care of it last week,” she says with rising anger.

“Calm down! You’re hysterical,” he says with increasing disdain. “Look at you; going nuts over nothing!”

The pattern typically ends malignantly with “Endless Excuses” and “Fire and Brimstone.”

As the above example illustrates, resolving differences is tough when words and actions are not in alignment. Passive-aggressive behavior typically begins in childhood when kids are comparatively powerless, yet are constantly being told what to do. To do things their own way, they learn to fudge their responses to adults, then return to doing whatever it is they want to be doing.

Passive-aggressive patterns carry over into adulthood when:

1. You have not learned negotiation skills.

You quickly respond to requests with a verbal “yes,” but don’t follow through with the agreed upon action. A better choice would be to reflect on your options, then choose a response. Choices are not limited to your way or my way. You can be creative by suggesting a third option or a blending of both ideas. It helps if you can learn to be active vs. reactive. Reflect on what you’re willing to do. Weigh in on your decisions before you agree to do anything.

2. You keep your resentment hidden.

“Hide your true feelings.” “Put a smile on your face.” “Be agreeable.” From a young age, we’re taught to express our negative feelings in socially acceptable ways. Not a bad message. But some people take it too far. Rather than say what you mean and mean what you say, you say what you think others want to hear. When your actions don’t align with your words, others get upset. Then, you get upset with them. Tension and turmoil escalates and you’re off and running to the next passive-aggressive drama.

3. You view yourself as the “victim.”

When you’re a member of a group (family, work, sports) and neglect your responsibilities, others will become perturbed. Rather than owning up to your obligations or re-negotiating your responsibilities, the passive-aggressive approach is to view yourself as the “persecuted victim.” Things don’t get done magically. They get done because people work together toward a common goal. Hence, it would be beneficial for you to be an active part of your group, rather than just waiting for others to tell you what to do, then resenting their interference.

4. You have not learned how to say “no” graciously.

Saying “no” helps you create limits, establish priorities, build character and makes your “yes” more meaningful. At times, we all need to say “no.” You can do so politely; “Sorry to say ‘no’ but I don’t have the time now.”  Or, offer an alternative suggestion; “No, I can’t do it now, but tomorrow would work.” Better to say “no” directly than indirectly with passive-aggressive behavior.

The biggest obstacle to changing passive-aggressive behavior is the lack of awareness of alternative responses. Hence, people just keep on doing what they’ve always been doing, while resentment and rancor keep ruining relationship after relationship. Too bad. It doesn’t have to be this way. Start learning the power of sharing power; then get out of your own way.

©2018

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-passive-aggressive-behavior-wrecks-relationships/

Harm Minimization and Variations in Recreational Cannabis Experiences

Recreational use of cannabis has been stable in recent years.In recognition that this may remain the case for a time to come, many governing bodies across the globe have adopted a harm minimization approach towards recreational substance use. This approach operates in large part through health education campaigns, towards the goal of increasing public awareness on safe drug use (where abstinence is not a perceived option, at least). For example, reminders not to drive and drive are frequently located not only in public spaces but also within drinking premises themselves.

Despite its illegal status in most countries, cannabis is the most commonly used substance in the world after alcohol.¹ From making household chores seem less mundane to facilitating social interactions, many cannabis users value it for its euphoric and relaxing properties. However, anecdotal evidence suggests that the effects of cannabis can vary between individuals, as well as within the same individual. A quick glance through open-access cannabis-related forums would yield a handful of worried and distressed individuals seeking explanations for a “bad trip”, or sub-threshold psychotic experience occurring during a cannabis high (e.g. suspicion, paranoia, anxiety, losing touch with reality).  

Nonetheless, the effects of cannabis for the most part tend to be rewarding, time-limited, and relatively inconsequential for most of its users once intoxication has worn off. This creates somewhat of a conundrum when it comes to developing health education campaigns related to cannabis use: Most public health campaigns focus on presenting the long-term consequences associated with cannabis use, including various forms of brain damage leading to poor cognitive functioning. Yet, the recreational user may view these consequences as distant and irrelevant to them, incongruent with their short-lived hedonistic experience under the influence of marijuana. Furthermore, the consequences described in public health campaigns tend to apply to those who engage in chronic, heavy cannabis use. In contrast, most recreational users of the drug tend to use it only on occasion and do not go on to become addicted.¹

In the current landscape of drug use where “street” cannabis is becoming increasingly accessible as well as potent (increasing in THC content)², it is perhaps of particular relevance for harm minimization efforts to also address immediate risks proximal to the cannabis use event. To this end, a small but growing body of work has taken to translating anecdotal evidence for variations in cannabis experiences into empirical research. Rather than a novel paradigm, this work picks up from a classic theory of subjective drug experiences articulated by Norman Zinberg (1984): The intoxication experience of any given psychoactive substance is always shaped by three classes of factors. Namely, these are Drug (e.g. THC content, dose), Set (Psychological factors e.g. Mood, Personality), and Setting (e.g. Where and with whom one uses).

Hence, two people who use the same drug can report very different subjective experiences, depending on their psychological profile or circumstances of cannabis use. While research to date has developed our knowledge on pharmacological factors in shaping cannabis intoxication experiences, the role of Set and Setting are not yet well understood (learn more about the research underway here). Input from non-users, past users, and current users of cannabis could help contribute to a more comprehensive understanding of cannabis’ effects, and its immediate risks.

References

1. Global Drug Survey (GDS; 2018). Retrieved from: https://www.globaldrugsurvey.com/gds-2018/
2. ElSohly, M. A., Mehmedic, Z., Foster, S., Gon, C., Chandra, S., & Church, J. C. (2016). Changes in Cannabis Potency over the Last Two Decades (1995-2014) – Analysis of Current Data in the United States. Biological Psychiatry, 79(7), 613–619. http://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2016.01.004

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/harm-minimization-and-variations-in-recreational-cannabis-experiences/

​6 Tips For Raising Optimistic Kids

The world today needs optimists more than ever. Optimism, seeing the glass as half full or the conviction that things will eventually work out, is a cornerstone of resilience and an absolute asset in achieving any kind of success in life.

When life gets tough, you want your child to hang on, pull himself together and keep going. Instead of giving up, you want your kids to believe that things can get better and work towards that. Research tells us that encouraging optimism in our kids comes with numerous benefits including better mental and physical well-being, a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction in life as well as a better ability to cope with the stresses of life.

Plus, let’s be honest, raising optimistic children improves their chances of having a healthy social life, after all, no one likes a Pessimistic Pete or Negative Nancy.

But how do you go about raising an optimist? Here are 6 tips to help your kid develop a sunny outlook on life:

1. Model optimism.

Are you guilty of saying things like “Everything always goes wrong!” or “We NEVER have enough money!”? If so, stop it.

Always focusing on negative thoughts is a classic pessimistic trait. Even worse, these views and attitudes of the world are communicated to your child, who is always watching and listening to you. The more you complain and gripe, the more likely they are to develop the same traits. If you want to help your kids become more upbeat, start by having a brighter outlook yourself.

2. Foster an attitude of gratitude in your kids.

Following the point above, you can help your kids become more optimistic by making gratitude a habit in your home. To start with, encourage everyone to share one good thing that happened or that they were grateful for. This shows them to naturally look for the silver lining in every experience. As your kids grow older, the habit will come naturally to them and they’ll lead happier, healthier and more fulfilled lives.

3. Allow them to experience success and take reasonable risks.

Giving your kids opportunities to achieve success and experience the pride of accomplishment will go a long way towards helping them develop “can-do” attitudes. A good way to do this is to assign them age-appropriate household chores and tasks. This not only teaches responsibility but also helps foster their confidence and makes them feel capable.

Additionally, learn to let go of the reins every once in a while and encourage your kids to try something new. While the parental instinct to shield our kids from harm is natural, it can sometimes undermine their confidence and unconsciously send a message that they can’t stand on their own two feet. So encourage them to learn new skills and hobbies, take trips without you and generally expand their boundaries. The lessons they’ll learn will spill over into other areas of their lives and they’ll become self-assured individuals who don’t crumble in the face of a challenge.

4. Shelter them from unnecessary stress.

The news these days is awash with all manner of negativity. While adults know that this is mostly for ratings, the constant barrage of bad news can be debilitating and overwhelming for kids, profoundly affecting their outlook. To prevent this, shelter them as much as you can from negative media. Also, don’t forget that social media is a huge part of our kids’ lives and impacts them in various ways.

A good way to start minimizing this kind of negativity is by having device-free dinners and organizing family outings where you just bond and enjoy each other’s company. Tuning out from the world from time to time teaches your child that self-care is important and that it helps you connect with what really matters.

5. Help them quiet their negative self-talk.

Kids, just like adults, have an inner critic whose voice can be quite loud at times. Whenever you hear your child say, “This is too hard for me” or “I’m too dumb” and other statements along these lines, that’s their inner critic talking. Left unchecked, these negative statements can take hold in your child’s psyche and they’ll start believing them.

Ward this off early by helping them confront their negative self-talk. Firstly, empathize with them and let them know you understand what they’re feeling. Next, teach them to externalize those thoughts and see them as just thoughts — not facts.

Finally, help them learn how to replace the negative self-talk with positive statements. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m too dumb, I’ll never get this”, encourage your child to say something like, “It might be hard now, but I’ll give it another shot tomorrow.”

6. Teach them to put things into perspective.

Bad things happen. That’s just how life is. However, our attitude and how we react to what happens to us make all the difference. Teaching this to our kids and helping them to cultivate optimistic thinking elevates them from victims to victors. While doing this, we should be careful not to sugarcoat things or ignore facts in a misguided attempt at “positive thinking.”

Optimistic thinking involves taking a realistic look at circumstances, weighing it all up and choosing to see the silver lining instead. This allows your child to see that they’re not powerless, regardless of the situation they find themselves in.

It might take some work but raising your kids to be optimists will have a positive impact on their future. What parent wouldn’t want that for their kids?

References:

Conversano, C., Rotondo, A., Lensi, E., Della Vista, O., Arpone, F., & Reda, M. A. (2010). Optimism and Its Impact on Mental and Physical Well-Being. Clinical Practice and Epidemiology in Mental Health : CP & EMH, 6, 25–29. http://doi.org/10.2174/1745017901006010025

Simon, H.B. Giving thanks can make you happier. Healthbeat: Harvard Health Publishing. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier

Social Media’s Impact on Self-Esteem & It’s Effects on Teens Today. Sundance Canyon Academy. Retrieved from https://www.sundancecanyonacademy.com/social-medias-impact-on-self-esteem-its-effects-on-teens-today-infographic/

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/%e2%80%8b6-tips-for-raising-optimistic-kids/

Should You Try TMS (rTMS) for Depression?

TMS refers to transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), a treatment method for clinical depression first developed in the 1980s. In the psychology research literature, TMS is often referred to as rTMS — the little ‘r’ is for repetitive, because the treatment needs to be delivered at regular intervals to be most effective. What exactly is it?

TMS is a simple, safe, external outpatient treatment procedure that pulses very specific wavelengths of magnetic fields to specific areas of your brain through your skull. It is believed these magnetic pulses help to reduce depression symptoms when administered in a course of treatment lasting 20-30 sessions over a period of six weeks (depending upon the response of the patient and the severity of the depression).

What’s a treatment session of TMS like?

TMS treatment sessions typically last about 40 minutes after the initial consultation that determines whether TMS is right for the patient. The TMS procedure is painless and you remain fully conscious during it. Many people report feeling a tingling or tapping sensation on their head during the procedure. Ear plugs are typically worn to help reduce the noise made by the TMS machine. TMS is administered by a TMS technician who has been trained and certified in the treatment.

A typical treatment of rTMS includes high-frequency (10 Hz) stimulation of your brain’s left-side dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. rTMS machines and procedures vary slightly, depending upon the manufacturer and the facility where you are receiving treatment.¹

Some patients also benefit from maintenance treatment once the initial course of 20-30 sessions has been completed. This maintenance treatment may occur every 6 to 12 months, depending on the patient and whether their depressive mood reoccurs.

Is TMS effective in the treatment of depression?

TMS is an effective treatment method for depression, especially treatment-resistant depression (TRD), according to the research literature. In one recent review the researchers wrote, “The studies reviewed reported satisfactory responses to rTMS in acute depressive episodes, as measured using depressive symptom scales. Remission of symptoms was achieved in many cases” (Felipe et al., 2016).

Research has produced thousands of studies examining the effectiveness of rTMS for depression. One meta-analysis — a systematic review of scientific studies designed to arrive at generalized conclusions — found that active rTMS was significantly superior to sham conditions (the equivalent of a placebo condition) in producing clinical response in subjects (Lam et al., 2008).

A more recent meta-analysis examined 18 good- or fair-quality treatment-resistant depression studies that employed rTMS compared to placebo (or sham treatment) (Gaynes et al., 2014). In every one of those studies, rTMS was better than placebo, significantly reducing depression severity in the subjects studied (a reduction of 4 or more points on the Hamilton Depression Rating Scale, a typical measure for depression used in research).

How will I know it’s working?

Your therapist or clinician will regularly assess the treatment’s effectiveness by asking you a series of questions about your depression, or by having you take a short quiz asking you those same questions. You should always answer these questions as truthfully as possible, to give the clinician an accurate picture of your depressive symptoms.²

Research has shown that a patient’s initial response to TMS predicts that patient’s subsequent response and likelihood of relapse (Kelly et al., 2017). Therefore, if after a predetermined number of sessions your therapist determines that the treatment doesn’t seem to be helping your depressive symptoms, they may suggest discontinuing it.

One thing to be aware of that just as in antidepressant therapy, research has demonstrated that the placebo effect is large in rTMS treatment (Razza et al., 2018). That simply means that some people benefit from a treatment that looks like rTMS, but doesn’t actually do anything. Just like some people would benefit from an “antidepressant” pill that is made from nothing but sugar. Placebo response was lowest in people with treatment-resistant depression (TRD), suggesting that is a group of people it is likely to work best with as well.

Can I try TMS when I’m pregnant?

TMS is one of the few treatments, other than psychotherapy, that also appears to be safe for pregnant women. In a review of a dozen studies conducted with women who were pregnant during TMS treatment, researchers found no harm to the fetus or that any additional pregnancy complications resulted (Felipe et al., 2016). They wrote, “The data available at this time support the efficacy and tolerability of rTMS for depression in pregnant women. Controlled studies should corroborate this conclusion.”

What are the side effects of TMS?

TMS appears to be safe for your brain (Tovar-Perdomo et al., 2017), or as the researchers put it, “cognitively safe.” Unlike electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), which has potentially significant cognitive and memory side effects in some people who undergo it, TMS has very few side effects in most people who try it. (Research suggests that while ECT may be more effective than rTMS, it is also among the least well-tolerated treatments available (Chen et al., 2017).)

The primary side effect most people who try TMS experience is a mild headache that goes away on its own or with the help of an aspirin or Tylenol. Some people also experience scalp pain, that tends to also go away on its own after each treatment session. (Teenagers appear to experience more side effects than adults, perhaps owing to their still-developing brains.)

Should I try TMS?

Yes, especially if you have treatment-resistant depression and have already tried a combination of psychotherapy and antidepressant medications. TMS helps about one-third to one-half of the people who try it to become free of depression symptoms, and nowadays, is a treatment covered by most health insurance plans. The side effects of the treatment are minimal and well-tolerated by most people.

 

References

Blumberger, Daniel M.; Vila-Rodriguez, Fidel; Thorpe, Kevin E.; Feffer, Kfir; Noda, Yoshihiro; Giacobbe, Peter; Knyahnytska, Yuliya; Kennedy, Sidney H.; Lam, Raymond W.; Daskalakis, Zafiris J.; Downar, Jonathan. (2018). Effectiveness of theta burst versus high-frequency repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation in patients with depression (THREE-D): A randomised non-inferiority trial. The Lancet, 391(10131), 1683-1692.

Chen, Jian-jun; Zhao, Li-bo; Liu, Yi-yun; Fan, Song-hua; Xie, Peng. (2017). Comparative efficacy and acceptability of electroconvulsive therapy versus repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation for major depression: A systematic review and multiple-treatments meta-analysis. Behavioural Brain Research, 320, 30-36.

Felipe, Renata de Melo & Ferrão, Ygor Arzeno. (2016). Transcranial magnetic stimulation for treatment of major depression during pregnancy: A review. Trends in Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, 38(4), 190-197.

Gaynes, Bradley N.; Lloyd, Stacey W.; Lux, Linda; Gartlehner, Gerald; Hansen, Richard A.; Brode, Shannon; Jonas, Daniel E.; Evans, Tammeka Swinson; Viswanathan, Meera; Lohr, Kathleen N. (2014). Repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation for treatment-resistant depression: A systematic review and meta-analysis. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 75(5), 477-489.

Kelly, Michael S.; Oliveira-Maia, Albino J.; Bernstein, Margo; Stern, Adam P.; Press, Daniel Z.; Pascual-Leone, Alvaro; Boes, Aaron D. (2017). Initial response to transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment for depression predicts subsequent response. The Journal of Neuropsychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 29(2), 179-182.

Lam RW, Chan P, Wilkins-Ho M, Yatham LN. (2008). Repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation for treatment-resistant depression: a systematic review and metaanalysis. Can J Psychiatry, 53(9), 621-31.

Razza, Laís B.; Moffa, Adriano H.; Moreno, Marina L.; Carvalho, Andre F.; Padberg, Frank; Fregni, Felipe; Brunoni, André R. (2018). A systematic review and meta-analysis on placebo response to repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression trials.
Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmacology & Biological Psychiatry, Vol 81, Feb 2, 2018 pp. 105-113.

Tovar-Perdomo, Santiago; McGirr, Alexander; Van den Eynde, Frederique; dos Santos, Nicole Rodrigues; Berlim, Marcelo T. (2017). High frequency repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment for major depression: Dissociated effects on psychopathology and neurocognition. Journal of Affective Disorders, 217, 112-117.

Footnotes:

1. A newer type of rTMS that researchers are also studying is called intermittent theta burst stimulation (iTBS) that can be delivered in 3 minutes, versus 37 minutes for a standard 10 Hz treatment session. Initial research suggests that iTBS may be just as effective as standard rTMS, but that self-reported pain associated with the treatment may be slightly higher (Blumberger et al., 2018).
2. It’s not uncommon for patients to want to “please” their therapist by saying they are feeling less depressed, even when they feel no change in their mood. You should try and not do this, in order to give your therapist a clear picture as possible of how you’re feeling.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/should-you-try-tms-rtms-for-depression/

Best of Our Blogs: June 26, 2018

What does Tovah P. Klein, PhD’s book How Toddlers Thrive have to do with mental health. Well if you’re a parent a lot. But even if you’re not, I love this statement and believe it applies to anyone.

“The key to being that good-enough parent that we all desire to be is to know yourself, to be open to change, and to be forgiving.”

You can replace the word, “parent,” with “partner,” or “person.”

Instead of striving for perfection which we all know by now is futile, we can work on being a good enough sister, friend or parent. We can stop pressuring ourselves to be illness-free. We can stop feeling guilty that we’re a burden. And we can understand that not only are we incapable of saying or doing the right thing all the time, but we can release others from that same impossible feat.

As you read this week, you’ll learn ways to be good enough from our posts on emotions, how the media may be biased towards parents, and what being raised by narcissists have to do with PTSD.

The 10 Rules Emotions Follow That Everyone Should Know
(Childhood Emotional Neglect) – You’ve been living your life without understanding these rules. This will change everything.

Narcissistic Parents And PTSD
(Psychotherapy Matters) – It’s two things you may not have linked. Here’s why growing up in a narcissistic family could have left you with PTSD.

The Strangest Bias Against Adults Who Are Not Parents
(Single at Heart) – Does not being a parent mean you also don’t have a heart? A few thoughts on the ways the media portrays people without kids.

My Little Girl Isn’t “Typical”
(Childhood Behavioral Concerns) – If you’ve ever ask, “Is this normal three-year-old behavior or something else?” you’ll relate to this post.

The Identifying Characteristics of Sex and Porn Addicts
(Sex & Intimacy in the Digital Age) – After reading this, you may recognize you or someone you know struggling with addiction.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/best-of-our-blogs-june-26-2018/

How to Remain Focused in an Increasingly Distracting World

“One way to boost our will power and focus is to manage our distractions instead of letting them manage us.” – William Goleman

I know I’m not alone in being easily distracted. In fact, with the proliferation of smartphones, smart TVs and other home devices, I’d venture a guess that all this burgeoning availability and use of technology contributes to societal distraction, not the opposite. Indeed, it’s so easy to succumb to the siren call of an incoming tweet or message, to pore through social media for hours to see what’s happening, to feel included, in the know, popular and liked that zeroing in on tasks at hand or what’s really important today can get lost in the competition for our attention.

After missing a few deadlines and failing to accomplish more than one pressing task, I embarked on a mission to teach myself how to remain focused — despite the lure of incessant distractions around me. Maybe some of the tips I’ve discovered that worked for me will help you find focus as well.

Take a personal time-out.

No, this isn’t a recommendation to go sit in a corner as punishment for bad behavior. On the contrary, when you opt for a personal time-out, what you’re doing is opening space to clear your mind and allow focus to return. I find that taking my time-out is most useful when I can feel my heart rate increase, my breath becomes shallower, and I sense the pressure of not enough time to get something done. In fact, it’s at these times that taking a pause is the best way to address digital distraction overload — literally.

During a personal time-out, it’s important to do nothing. That means no multi-tasking jotting notes, listening to TV news, reading emails, posting on social media, doing laundry or whatever. Put aside everything else and be in a quiet place where you can let your mind go blank. I like meditation, although yoga is also a great practice to utilize. As difficult as this may be for always-on-the-go and ever-connected individuals, stopping the whirlwind distractions for a short time is the only way to calm the noise and regain balance, equilibrium and sense of well-being. Trust me, after some trial-and-error, you’ll find this technique works. When you return to your day, you’ll likely be better rested and even find solutions or answers to problems or questions pop into your head without effort — almost as if they only needed the space to come out and be noticed.

Learn self-discipline.

Discipline often gets a bad rap, associated for years with punishment doled out by parents, educators, law enforcement, the court system and others. Yet, discipline is an integral part of learning, self-growth and success. Without discipline, no one would ever learn the multiplication tables or why you shouldn’t bang your sister over the head when she snatches your toys. The discipline to continue higher education by taking a series of ever-more complex and difficult courses is required to achieve a desired degree. It’s much the same way when it comes to self-discipline and how that can help you regain focus in today’s distracting and distracted world.

How does self-discipline in this context work? Take losing yourself in social media for hours as an example of distraction that erodes focus. Using self-discipline as a technique here means setting and adhering to limits on time spent with this activity. It must be something meaningful and workable in order to work, however, or you won’t wind up benefitting. If you say you’ll only devote one hour per day to social media, and it will be late afternoon once you’ve finished work, reward yourself with unfettered access to your social media for that allocated hour. Do not allow yourself to be tempted to sneak in a few furtive peeks when you’re supposed to be engaged in other tasks – like work, school, tending to the kids.

Now, the fact that research shows that teens spend up to nine hours per day using social media platforms and adults devote 4.7 hours per day on smartphone and other connected devices only shows how formidable the pressure of nonstop distractions is. Combatting this obsession will require cultivating some measure of self-discipline. The ultimate reward, though, when you exercise self-discipline to be gadget-free will be your ability to focus and remain focused when you need to.

Reap the benefits of family face-to-face communication and interaction.

The joke about family disconnection that’s not funny is played out daily in homes throughout the country. Mother, father and kids are at the dinner table and everyone’s on their smartphone. Communication between family members is often via text — while in the same room, ostensibly sharing a meal! Talk about lost opportunity for family bonding, parents and children sharing their day’s experiences.

Where all this broke down is anyone’s guess, but it likely had much to do with the proliferation of smartphones and the skyrocketing popularity of social media. Instead of face-to-face dialogue, where differences can be ironed out in real-time and by using visual and auditory clues, emojis and abbreviated language and shortcuts sabotage genuine conversation for a quick exchange, albeit less satisfying.

Granted, kids may not want to look their parents in the eye when they’ve gotten a bad report card, got caught speeding, or mom and dad are likely to grill them on their friends, who’s going to chaperone the party they want to attend and so on. For their part, parents may much rather issue vague generalities or denials of anything wrong than let on to the kids. Hiding from the truth, however, in this form as well as others, does nothing to confront and solve problems. Least of all, it aids and abets resorting to distractions as a coping mechanism.

How about instilling a family rule that says there’s no use of technology at the dinner table? Be prepared for intense opposition, even for yourself, as curbing the use of smartphones and such won’t be easy. Tell yourself that the benefits of seeing and hearing what’s really going on instead of getting it third-hand will be more than worth the temporary separation from the distraction of tech devices. After all, for many families, mealtime is the only block of time they share. Make it free of distracting interruptions. Make this family time count by focusing on what’s real and happening now.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-remain-focused-in-an-increasingly-distracting-world/

Ep 15: How We Acted Before Recovery from Bipolar and Schizophrenia

In ways that are both extremely flattering and exceptionally stigmatizing, Michelle and Gabe are often told that they don’t really have bipolar and schizophrenia, that they are too mature, intelligent, or well behaved to be that sick. They are told that they may have “a mild case” or are “high functioning,” without acknowledging their past struggles.

In many ways, our hosts understand why people feel this way. They weren’t advocates with a podcast when they were at their sickest. They were hidden away in their homes or hospitalized, not even understanding that they were sick.

In this episode, Gabe and Michelle share stories of what they were like before they received treatment for their mental illnesses.

 

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“God hasn’t talked to the Pope, but he has talked to Michelle Hammer . . . which makes sense.”
– Gabe Howard

 

Highlights From ‘Before Recovery We Acted Sick’ Episode

[1:40] Michelle shares her story of when God spoke to her in Israel.

[6:10] Gabe tells the story of jumping off his roof and onto the lawn.

[10:15] Michelle talks about self-harm (trigger warning).

[16:30] Gabe talks about pulling out his hair, weighing 550 pounds, and staying in bed for days at a time.

[21:50] Michelle discusses being delusional and hallucinating in a Starbucks.

[26:00] Gabe talk about living with “demons,” and his fear of skyscraper window washers.

Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

 

MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

 

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/ep-15-how-we-acted-before-recovery-from-bipolar-and-schizophrenia/