Bipolar Professor

It’s hard working as a college professor with bipolar disorder. I suppose it’s hard working anywhere with bipolar disorder, but my particular vocation is teaching 18-year-olds how to write at a local university. I’ve had bipolar illness for almost 30 years now; I was diagnosed in 1991. I’m 56. I’ve been at my university for about as long as I’ve been bipolar.

Why is it so hard to be a bipolar teacher in the higher education system? 

The main reason is the stigma of the disease. As you probably know, even in 2019, there is horrible stigma about bipolar illness. There is sympathy for anxiety/depression and now for PTSD, but for bipolar, there is still relentless stigma.

If I tell someone I’m bipolar, they look at me as if I have a hidden tail tucked into my pants. This is why I don’t talk about my illness as a rule. Academics are often not as accepting as they make themselves out to be. The university is a place to freely exchange ideas about things, but not about your bipolar illness. In the age of disability awareness, no one is talking about this issue.

Then, there is the basic stress that comes with living with the illness.  This is one disease where medication is absolutely necessary. If I forget to take my meds, I have a bad day. Sometimes, the meds don’t do their job. I may find myself sinking into depression or rising into hypomania. Because of my illness, I live with more unpredictability than the average person. This is stress-inducing, and we all know extra stress makes things harder.

Loneliness. This is a lonely illness. I literally know no one who lives with this issue at my university. At school, I walk around with the knowledge of my mental health problem and I never talk about it.  The LGBTQ folks have each other. Many of them are out of the closet. I would love to be completely out so that I could be myself. Bipolar illness doesn’t define me, but it’s a big part of who I am.  

What can I do about this difficulty I face every day?

Come out of the closet with my teaching peers. Begin talking about my disability openly. (I should tell you that I am “out” as a bipolar person in my writing, but since I use my maiden name as my pen name, no one recognizes me. This is illustrative of my ambivalent nature about this issue.)

Come out of the closet with the students and start a club for people with mental health issues. (Would I want to be part of a club that would accept me as a member?) I’ve thought about doing this for years, but I’ve doubted my ability to lead this type of organization because I don’t have any psychological credentials; I think I’d be better at running a club if I were some sort of counselor or psychologist. This is what has held me back from taking on this enterprise. 

Nothing. Go on living the way I’ve been living for 30 years.

So at the university, where you can be whatever you want to be, it’s hard to be bipolar.

My brain is different; it’s what manifests this illness, but it’s also what makes me creative and drives my writing. 

You might be thinking it’s here she’s going to say that if given the choice, she’d remain bipolar if a cure for it were developed.

Well, surprise, if there were a cure for bipolar, I’d take it. This is not a picnic, and I’d get myself out of my life situation if I could. 

Not surprisingly, there is no national mental health coming out day.  There is a day to observe mental health; this occurs on October 10 of every year, but this day is simply to “raise awareness” of mental health issues. This is very different than a day of coming out. (It should be noted that LGBTQ coming out day is October 11.)

I propose (as a few might have done before me) that we create a day for coming out with a mental health issue, a day when all the bipolar folks and schizophrenic people and depressives and the anxiety-ridden and individuals with OCD and all the people with personality disorders and PTSD can simply say “I am the way I am.”

If this happened, things might get better for everybody.  

No one knows when and if they will develop a mental illness.

It could happen to anybody.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/bipolar-professor/

Art Therapy: 7 Ways to Draw Your Stress Out

As an art therapist for over four decades, I’ve been able to give my clients simple yet enjoyable tools for dealing with stress. Whether the stress was related to a chronic or life-threatening illness, divorce or separation, job security, or any number life crises, scribbling and drawing have proven to be powerful ways to release pent up emotions, worries, and self-judgment.

In order to embark on the adventure of stress release through scribbling and drawing, a few simple art materials are required.

• Unlined paper – 8-1/2 x 11 inches or larger
• Old magazines or newspapers
• Crayons – 12 colors or more
• Felt markers – wide tip for drawing (optional – fine tip felt markers)
• Your favorite recorded music

1. Scribbling: Warm Ups

If you are like most of my clients and students, your first reaction to the idea of drawing may be, “I can’t draw” or “I have no artistic talent.” Or you may be thinking, “I’m not an artist, I just do quilting.” The point is that the vast majority of people get nervous when I ask them to draw. Their inner art critic immediately shouts them down as being uncreative. That’s why I start with warm ups, recommending that they scribble on old newspapers or magazines to get past the fear of making mistakes or drawing something that is ugly.

We are not making art with a capital A here. Rather, we are allowing the stress we carry in our bodies to literally flow out onto paper using simple drawing tools. So, try it now. Imagine a stressful situation in your life. If you can’t think of one, recall the most recent stress you experienced. With a crayon or wide tip felt marker, use any color to scribble out the feelings associated with the stressful situation you pictured in your mind. Imagine being in kindergarten again and scribble to your heart’s content using whatever colors appeal to you.

2. Dancing on Paper

We all know that music is a stress reducer. Scribbling to music takes it a step further.

Put on some music that you enjoy. Using a crayon or wide tip marker in the color of your choice, draw to this music as if you were “dancing on paper.” Start by drawing with your dominant hand (the one you normally write with). Draw for a few minutes and then, with another crayon or maker, include your non-dominant hand (the one you do not normally write with). You’ll be scribbling with both hands, creating a duet on paper.

Don’t try to make pictures of anything. Instead, think of this as leaving marks on paper the way ice skaters leave tracks on the ice. These marks are the tracks of your stress literally being shed onto the paper.

3. Drawing Feelings Out

We all carry unexpressed emotions in our bodies and we even express it with phrases like “butterflies in my stomach” or “a pain in the neck.” We also use colors when talking about strong feelings: “red with rage,” “green with envy,” or “feeling blue.”

The next time you become aware of strong emotions being bottled up inside your body, dump them out on paper with crayons by scribbling. Choose colors that express the emotions you are releasing. There is no right or wrong color for any emotion, only the color that feels right to you. After a while, switch hands and draw with your non-dominant hand.

4. Moving from Tension to Relaxation

One way to relax is to accentuate the experience of tension by tensing up the body as much as possible and then allowing yourself to relax and loosen up with an outbreath. This experience can be extended through scribbling two contrasting images. Image one, drawn with the dominant hand, is “what tension looks like.” Use whatever color you associate with tension. On a second page, draw with the non-dominant hand “what relaxation looks like.” Select a color that feels relaxing to you.

5. Slowing Down

In our fast paced world with pressures to meet deadlines and achieve instant gratification, slowing down is a great way to release tension. Using a crayon or wide tip marker in the color of your choice, try drawing as slowly as you can using the non-dominant hand. Making continuous circular loops on the paper can help you relax while you draw more and more slowly. If relaxing music helps you slow down, accompany your drawing with the music of your choice.

6. Turning Stress into Inner Peace

Much of our stress is caused by negative images and expectations in our own minds. We practice “negative affirmations” every time we worry about painful or uncomfortable situations in our lives. On the other hand, we can use drawing to create a positive image, a relaxed mind and body, and inner peace.

With your dominant hand draw a picture of a stressful situation in your life. This can be simple stick figures or even abstract lines and shapes.

Now, imagine in your mind what the stressful situation you drew would look like if it were resolved to your satisfaction. With your non-dominant hand draw a picture of how that looks.

7. Creating Your Safe Place

Imagining a place that is safe and comfortable can help to calm ourselves down when we are feeling anxious and stressed out. A safe place can be a location you’ve actually experienced, or it can be one you make up in your imagination. This can be drawn with the dominant or non-dominant hand using crayons and/or makers. It can be a simple portrayal of a place in nature, a cozy room, or any other place that has personal meaning for you.

If your inner art critic starts bullying you about your drawing skills, just tell it to take a coffee break. Remember, we’re not making art with a capital A here.

Allow yourself to play with colors, shapes, and lines on the page. Who knows, you might even find an inner artist that is longing to come out.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/art-therapy-7-ways-to-draw-your-stress-out/

Talkspace: The New Therapy Room

I am always on the lookout for new opportunities and exciting options through which to share my mission of promoting positive mental health. I have been a psychotherapist for over 31 years. Working with adolescents has taught me many things, foremost among which is to expect the unexpected and be open to whatever is happening in the digital world. And it’s not like I’m a dinosaur who’s ignored trends in the digital world, but when did texting become the new form of talking, and can it possibly be an effective form of communication? For therapists?

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Along came Talkspace (TS), a highly sophisticated digital therapy platform which provides for communication with clients through audio and/or video messaging and live video sessions. I thought it was an opportunity, but even more so, a resource, I could not ignore. The “on-boarding” process, as it is called, required a significant commitment including providing my professional credentials, proof of liability insurance and completion of their comprehensive Talkspace University+ training, so that I could understand and effectively use their digital platform. Yes, it is HIPAA compliant.

Clients provide informed consent along with emergency contact information. One hopes to never have to use the emergency contacts, yet it is reassuring to have them readily available, if needed. Talkspace handles all financial transactions, including insurance, private pay and EAP (employee assistance program) fees. Clients are paired with therapists or can choose their own clinician. They complete a general application outlining their presenting problem(s) which triggers an assessment designed to establish a baseline of the frequency and or intensity of the presenting problem(s). Once client and therapist are paired, the therapeutic relationship begins. Rapport building beings and expectations related to frequency and mode of communication are agreed upon. For me, it involves five twice-daily visits to my “room” each week. The client has 24/7 access to their “client room” which is where we maintain contact. The relationship can form surprisingly quickly compared to some of the typical live sessions I have had in my on-ground or in-school clinical work.

Has it been significantly different for me from the traditional face-to-face therapy that I have practiced for so long? Yes and no! The convenience for myself and my clients is incredible. If you have an iPhone or iPad with a wireless connection, you can provide psychotherapy through the Talkspace platform. Italy, here I come! Yes, that does make it sound easy, however just as I have in my on-ground office, it has been important to trust in and use the experience I have accumulated to read through the message in the messages. Do I miss the nonverbal cues? Well, yes! This introduces the challenge of asking additional questions that I might not otherwise ask in my face-to-face work. For example, “What are your feelings about this? How are you processing all of this?” Yes, you ask these questions in face-to-face therapy, however it is typically more in the flow while you are reading the client’s nonverbal cues that insight into their feelings is acquired.

Most of us do not audiotape/review our sessions, we use notes and memory, right? Think about what YOU use to recollect your session. The nature of this digital therapeutic communication is very similar to in-person communication, but the entire exchange is right there on the screen. Client and therapist can read re-read the entire communication. This has allowed me to use the CBT model with greater impact. I encourage my TS clients to reread and review some of our previous messages to reinforce interventions, sometimes cutting and pasting in order to highlight and reinforce a concept. Here is an example of part of an interchange I had with a client:

Client: “I value my friends a lot and I genuinely do whatever I can to make them feel as good as I can get them to be.”

Me: “I am wondering if you can apply that thought/ideal to yourself. I value me a lot and genuinely do whatever I can to make me feel as good as I can for myself. How would that statement/thought feel? Try it on.”

Of course, I asked my client permission to use this. Within my message to ask permission, I once again copied and pasted the previous message for the client—an effective way of reinforcing and restructuring some of the negative thinking that occurs for her. One of the advantages of this platform is the ability to go back with accuracy to reinforce while highlighting the possibility of change. Additionally, I like the use of visuals in therapy such as the CBT triangle (thought, behavior, emotion), but as yet, it has been a challenge to bring these into the Talkspace room. I’ll get there.

The one constant in life, and no less in my evolving professional role, is change. Talkspace has challenged my preconceived ideas about digital therapy and enabled me to bring my clinical skills into the digital sphere. I welcome the research and data to support this work. I recently asked one of my digital international clients to articulate their experience with me on Talkspace. She said, “I don’t know if this could be of any use, but face-to-face therapy here in Saudi Arabia is really limited…I was faced with ignorance and people didn’t know how to handle me.” She continued, “With Talkspace, I truly felt heard and comforted in ways I couldn’t in face-to-face therapy. I’m sure professionals here are extremely good at what they do, but I was blessed to have you as my therapist and like I’m taking a huge step into bettering myself.”

Face-to-face and digital therapy both include rapport building, the establishment of baseline through careful assessment, the development of treatment goals, the creation and implementation of interventions and assessment of treatment outcome. Talkspace has brought me and my therapy room to clients who I, more than likely, would never have had the opportunity to work with. The clinical effectiveness, affordability and accessibility of Talkspace have worked for both me and my clients, allowing me to continue my mission to promote positive mental health. Therapy is not about a room, it is about creating a space for connection and healing. Welcome to the new therapy room. 

from http://www.psychotherapy.net/blog/title/talkspace-the-new-therapy-room

Best of Our Blogs: April 30, 2019

I swing back and forth in my belief about whether this is a stressful time to be alive in the world. With the environment at risk, political instability, and violent crimes, there are legitimate reasons to feel this way. And yet, there are amazing things happening too.

One has been all the accessible information on current health research. For example, I’ve been listening to the Brain Change Summit by Sounds True. In the last few days, I’ve learned the newest information on things like preventing Alzheimer’s, what tools can build resilience and how the environment, mindfulness and meditation can make a difference in mental health. The presentations are led by experts in the field who give us hope that there are new and research supported treatments for those suffering.

If you don’t have a chance to listen before the free access ends on May 2nd, you’ll also find hope in our top posts this week. You’ll feel liberated by reading how one woman freed herself and her wardrobe from her narcissistic mother, tools to recover from abandonment and finally have proof that you’ve been emotionally neglected and grew up in a dysfunctional family.

Yes there are a lot of reasons why it’s difficult today, but I’m grateful there are sites like ours and Sounds True that can provide free information, education and research to everyone around the world.

20 Things People With Childhood Emotional Neglect Often Say
(Childhood Emotional Neglect) – If you catch yourself saying things like, “I can handle it,” you might need to get yourself on the CEN recovery path.

25 Characteristics of Narcissistic Parents and Dysfunctional Families (Part 1)
(Psychology of Self) – If your parents were untrustworthy and exhibited other behaviors listed in this post, chances are you grew up in a dysfunctional family.

Recovery from Abandonment
(The Recovery Expert) – These nine tools can help you heal from abandonment.

What is Emotional Abuse?
(The Exhausted Woman) – Victims of emotional abuse often experience these emotions.

Body Shaming and Slut Shaming: When Narcissists Control Our Wardrobe
(Narcissism Meets Normalcy) – All through your life you were shamed and controlled. Now is the time to break free from your narcissistic mother and wear what you want.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/best-of-our-blogs-april-30-2019/

3 Steps for Single Dads Coping with Life After Divorce

You can get through this.

Coping with life after divorce for a single father is tough for a multitude of reasons.

There’s the grief, anger, hurt, loneliness, and sense of failure.

You have to learn how to move on and how to start a new life along with the financial burden of paying for your attorney, the cost of setting up a new household, spousal maintenance, and child support.

And most importantly, a life when you’re newly divorced is tough because you have less time with your kids.

9 Easy Ways to Be a More Positive & Effective Single Parent

As dismal as all these sound, by no means is coping with divorce and its aftermath a life sentence for single parents a life sentence.

What may seem to be a sad state of affairs is just where things start out.

If you have the courage and will to make your life — and your kids’ lives — better, you can create an amazing life.

To re-start your life after divorce as a divorced single father, here are 3 steps you need to take.

1. Heal

You must take care of yourself and heal from your divorce. You’ve got to deal with all the uncomfortable emotions that the end of your marriage has stirred up.

It’s only by looking directly at each emotion that engulfs you that you’ll be able to deal with it and put it in its appropriate place.

If you don’t work through your feelings about your divorce, you’ll be doomed to carry them with you for the rest of your life.

And that will color the rest of your life a gray shade of miserable.

Although you’ll be doing the heavy lifting on this work, that doesn’t mean you have to do it all on your own.

There are plenty of people who would be glad to support you: your family, friends, spiritual leader, therapist, or a divorce coach.

The bonus here as far as life after divorce for dads goes is that as you heal, your kids will notice.

And when they believe and see that you’re OK, they’ll be able to heal too.

It’s only after you’ve started regaining your emotional equilibrium that you’ll be able to effectively deal with the other huge challenges of your life instead of just going through the motions.

2. Plan

Just like everything else after divorce, your financial status will change too.

The combined income you and your children’s other parent shared is just not there anymore.

Now you’ve got to figure out how you will cover all your expenses, obligations and any debt on your own.

And the only way to do this is with a plan and a budget.

Financial stress is difficult for everyone and the sooner you have a plan to overcome your financial stress, the more easily you’ll be able to be fully present when you’re with your kids.

There’s also no reason for you to work through all of this on your own either.

Depending on your situation, some of the resources you can tap into include: websites to help you more fully understand all facets of finances, websites to help you budget, financial advisors, and, if you’re ready, ask for a raise from your boss.

Why It’s So Hard to Date After Divorce When You’re a Single Dad

3. Parent

Parenting after divorce is different from parenting when you were married.

When your children are with you, you’re it — the parent. There’s no tag-teaming like when you were married.

This means that whatever comes up, you’ve got to deal with it.

Single parenting after divorce also means that you’re going to be interacting with your children’s other parent.

If you’re co-parenting, you’ll be interacting a lot. If you’re parallel parenting, you won’t be interacting as much. And if you have sole custody, you’ll be interacting even less.

Regardless of how often you need to personally interact with your children’s other parent, your children will be thinking about them.

So, despite being divorced and a single parent, the other parent will be part of your life, for the rest of your life.

So you must figure out how to make the relationship with your ex as conflict-free as possible.

When you do, you’ll be able to be the kind of dad you want to be. (As, yes this is possible, even if your ex is a bully or narcissist.)

And, you don’t have to figure this out on your own either. Some of the resources you can tap into here include family therapists, individual counselors, other single parents who successfully interact with their exes, and coaches.

When you begin making progress on all three steps, you’ll notice that things aren’t quite as bad as they were at the beginning of the whole divorce thing.

And the more progress you make the better things will get.

The unvarnished truth is life after divorce for dads who had the courage to do the work of dealing with their emotions, finances, and relationship with their children’s other parent is frickin’ great!

And when you get to the point where you’re loving your life again, you’ll look back and realize it was only possible because you got divorced.

This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 3 Ways For Single Dads To Cope With Life After Divorce.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-steps-for-single-dads-coping-with-life-after-divorce/

When You Compare Yourself to Strangers on Social Media

When you say it out loud, it sounds silly, comical, and absurd. But in the moment, you can’t help but compare yourself to strangers on social media.

You scroll through your feed, and look at all sorts of smiling faces. And you see they’re happier than you. Their homes are tidier with bright, sunny, remodeled kitchens. Their closets are perfectly curated, with a seasonal capsule wardrobe. They eat fresh, locally-sourced, home-cooked meals every day. They travel regularly. They’re patient, fun-loving parents.

And you feel so the opposite of that.

You are so the opposite of that. Most days, you feel like your life is a mess. You’ve got a screaming, sassy toddler, and spit-up all over your shirt (and maybe hair). You’ve got a closet in every room that requires excavating. You get take-out — which is neither fresh nor locally sourced. Often.

Some days are just tough. And so even though it sounds silly and comical and absurd when you say it aloud, you still find yourself poring over pictures on Instagram or Facebook, and wondering why you seem to be falling short.

And after way too much time spent on scrolling and comparing, you wonder, why am I comparing myself to people I don’t know when I know it’s harmful and pointless, when I know they’re only showing one (thin) slice of their lives?

One explanation is that “we are more pack animal than lone wolf,” said Jenn Hardy, Ph.D, a psychologist who runs a private practice in Maryville, Tenn.

“We are hard-wired for evolutionary reasons to want to fit into groups as this ensured our survival as a species,” said Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C, a therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center in Rockville, Maryland, which provides eating disorder recovery coaching, along with therapy for adolescents and adults struggling with eating disorders, body image issues, anxiety, and depression.

“To stay with the pack, we need to make sure we are following the rules and fitting in. In order to figure this out, we look around us to see how we compare,” Hardy said. Of course, what we see isn’t an accurate picture. It’s everyone’s highlight reels. And we know this. We know this intellectually and cognitively.

But, as Hardy said, that’s very different from convincing “the instinctual, emotional parts of our brain that the data it’s getting is inaccurate.”

However, this doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do. Below, you’ll find a few ways to deal with comparing yourself to strangers on social media.

• Be intentional about who you follow. Hardy calls it “Marie Kondo-ing your Instagram feed.” “If an account doesn’t spark joy, then thank it, and click unfollow.” She also suggested finding people who post more honestly about their lives. As psychologist Christina Iglesia, Psy.D, said, “Very few people are posting their failures, setbacks, or disappointments causing a significant imbalance of what one will see as they scroll through their newsfeed. For the majority of us, our social media feeds are filled with beautiful people, exotic destinations, and perfectly curated food.” That’s why Hardy follows other therapists. “They are real, not glossy images of a pretend life.” Hardy also follows people who have different careers, such as artists and cartoonists. “It’s sparked a real creative energy in me…”
• Notice your stories—and reframe them. Rollin suggested paying attention to the times you start comparing yourself to others on social media. “What stories are you telling yourself about that other person or yourself? What feelings are coming up? Do any urges come up?” Then consider if the stories you’re telling yourself are helpful for leading you in the direction of the life you want, Rollin said. If they’re not helpful, ask yourself, “What might be more helpful to tell myself?” According to Rollin, it’s unhelpful to think, “Her life is so put together. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I seem to juggle everything?” You might reframe this story into: “She’s showing one part of her life on social media—it’s a highlight reel and not the full picture. No one is perfect, and I’m definitely not alone in struggling with juggling everything.”
• Limit your use. “If you begin to notice that you are going down the rabbit hole of comparison, you can set a time limit on all of your social media apps in an effort to mitigate the negative effects,” said Iglesia, founder of the mental health campaign #therapyiscool. “The idea behind this recommendation is that the less time we spend on social media, the less time we will aimlessly scroll through filtered images that invite feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy.”

All three clinicians interviewed also find themselves getting sucked into the comparison trap. As Iglesia said, “There is a common misconception that therapists don’t struggle in the same ways our patients do. We are all susceptible to throwing logic out the window and engaging in the problematic mind games social media can elicit.”

When Iglesia starts to question her sense of self, she scales back her social media use.

When this happens to Rollin, she tells herself these important reminders: “Social media is a highlight reel and you don’t know what is actually going on behind the scenes, or how someone might actually be feeling. Things like ‘number of followers’ or ‘likes’ do not define your worth as a human. Most people struggle with comparing themselves on some level—even the people that you might be comparing yourself too.”

When Hardy first started her Instagram account to build up a therapy writing career, she felt intimidated by the large followings of fellow therapists. As her following grew so did her definition of a “large following.” The other accounts become “dangling carrots. I could never seem to catch up.”

Hardy also would get upset when a post she loved fell flat and pressure herself to “somehow instantly be a better writer and algorithm player when someone else’s post exploded.”

What’s helped her is a variety of tools: For instance, Hardy reminds herself of all the random and out-of-her-control variables that lead to a post being “successful.” She also takes breaks from social media, and prioritizes offline time with loved ones. And she’s developed friendships with other therapy writers she admires. “We can relate to the same frustrations. We don’t feel so isolated because of our connection to each other on Instagram. And we can celebrate each other’s successes instead of feeling jealous of them.”

Comparing ourselves to strangers on social media isn’t so strange. We’re simply trying to fit in, a desire that’s deeply ingrained in us. And we can turn to different tools to help us minimize our comparison-making ways, and work on accepting ourselves and our current situations—whether they include capsule wardrobes, clear counters, decluttered closets, or the complete opposite.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-compare-yourself-to-strangers-on-social-media/

Podcast: Self-Care for Your Mental Health

Self-care is important for everyone, but our hosts feel it is extra important for people managing mental illnesses and other mental health issues. It stands to reason that, if you don’t take care of yourself, then the symptoms of an illness will have an easier time making our lives miserable.

In this episode, our hosts discuss what self-care is, what self-care isn’t, and what they personally do to care for themselves. Listen now!

 

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

“Would it be self-care for me to watch a bunch of guys getting hit in the privates?’”
– Gabe Howard

 

Highlights From ‘Self-Care for Your Mental Health’ Episode

[2:00] What do Gabe and Michelle do for self-care?

[6:30] Why did Gabe and Michelle start a podcast?

[11:30] Why does Michelle watch “fail” videos?

[13:30] Gabe loves fidget spinners and believes they help with his self-care.

[17:00] Watching Jeopardy is an example of self-care.

[19:00] Michelle + Gabe + The Peoples’ Court = group self-care.

[22:00] Who thinks watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the BEST self-care?

[23:00] Is personal hygiene an example of self-care?

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Mental Health Self-Care’ Show

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: [00:00:06] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.

Gabe: [00:00:17] You’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. My name is Gabe Howard. I live with bipolar disorder.

Michelle: [00:00:23] Hi, I’m Michelle. I’m schizophrenic.

Gabe: [00:00:27] And today we are going to discuss self care. But like low end self care, like easy self care, basic self care, the self care that nobody thinks about because everybody’s always thinking about like these grandiose self care ideas.

Michelle: [00:00:42] Well like going to a spa and getting a facial?

Gabe: [00:00:45] That would be one. Or going on vacation, or being able to stay home for a week. Quitting their jobs.

Michelle: [00:00:51] I mean yeah quitting your job. What else is As grandiose self care?

Gabe: [00:00:57] I think the biggest grandiose self care is like marrying a rich person and just eating bonbons while watching TV all day.

Michelle: [00:01:04] Wait there’s something wrong with that?

Gabe: [00:01:05] There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just the kind of self care that most of us can’t participate in.

Michelle: [00:01:10] I mean that seems kind of like a pretty good self care.

Gabe: [00:01:13] I think that is an excellent self care and we’re gonna do a companion episode called self care for the rich and famous and that will be on there.

Michelle: [00:01:20] If you’re a sugar daddy looking for a sugar baby and you’re not a total creep, email me.

Gabe: [00:01:24] Really? The creep thing, do you care? That’s kind of creepy behavior on your part. You’re literally looking for somebody to take care of you.

Michelle: [00:01:31] Okay fine I’ll change that. If you just are a really rich person and you want to give me a lot of money for no reason, hit me up.

Gabe: [00:01:36] Michelle, you and I both live with severe and persistent mental illness and we’ve managed to live successfully for a number of years. And we always talk on this show that there’s more than just medication. There’s more than just therapy. There’s more than just peer support or group therapy or having stable housing or having good friends and family and one of the things that we almost never talk about, and an alert reader pointed out, is we never talk about basic self care tips. And I’m really surprised because between us we have like so many. And I love it when we get together and our little self care ideas don’t quite mesh. A big one of mine is going to get Diet Coke and just chilling.

Michelle: [00:02:13] At seven thirty in the morning.

Gabe: [00:02:16] That’s why it doesn’t quite mesh. And one of your self care tips is going to get coffee but like closer to eleven and it’s very difficult to find a place that has Diet Coke and coffee that you find acceptable.

Michelle: [00:02:30] Like McDonalds?

Gabe: [00:02:30] I mean McDonalds. That was a good compromise on our part. But remember when you tried to take me to Starbucks?

Michelle: [00:02:37] Yeah, and you refused to go to Starbucks. You think you’re better than Starbucks.

Gabe: [00:02:41] I don’t like coffee.

Michelle: [00:02:43] Why not?

Gabe: [00:02:43] Why don’t you like Diet Coke?

Michelle: [00:02:45] I do like Diet Coke but I don’t want it. I’d rather have coffee in the morning than Diet Coke.

Gabe: [00:02:51] You see the problem and this is why you shouldn’t have mentally ill friends ladies and gentlemen. We did an episode a few weeks ago where we talked about vices and Diet Coke was brought up as a vice because I drink so much of it and we’re not walking that back. But this is the flip side of that where it relaxes me. It helps me. It is a part of my self care especially when I get very stressed out at work or when I get overwhelmed on a project. I can step out, drive someplace, sit down, sip a Diet Coke, people watch, look around, and that really allows me to calm down. This is a self care option that cost me a couple of bucks and I know that you feel the same way about coffee.

Michelle: [00:03:31] Yes, coffee is readily available walking through New York City. Oh I want some coffee? I’ll be at a coffee shop in at least three minutes.

Gabe: [00:03:38] You once described that if you wanted coffee in New York, you just have to hold out your hand and say coffee and it just magically appears.

Michelle: [00:03:44] It’s ridiculous how much coffee you can get in New York City. Maybe that’s why everybody’s so amped up all the time? People just go go go go go. Maybe that’s what it is. That’s why everybody is just so fast and everything in New York City? Is it just the readily available list of coffee everywhere?

Gabe: [00:04:01] And espresso.

Michelle: [00:04:01] And espresso, is everywhere in New York.

Gabe: [00:04:04] Do you have people that call it ex-press-so? Where they don’t pronounce the s? They call it X-presso, instead of S-presso?

Michelle: [00:04:10] I thought it was X-presso for so long.

Gabe: [00:04:12] You pronounce the X? That doesn’t exist?

Michelle: [00:04:13] I didn’t know why. I didn’t know. I had to be educated, Gabe. I needed to be educated about coffee.

Gabe: [00:04:20] As longtime listeners of the show know, I also host the Psych Central Show with Vincent M. Wales and Vince is a master coffee person. Like he has all the equipment in his home. He knows everything about coffee; he knows everything about the beans. He has so much coffee knowledge and he tries to impart this on me all the time and I just give him this glazed over look like can I go now?

Michelle: [00:04:42] You never told me this about him. So I don’t know why me and Vin are not better friends now.

Gabe: [00:04:47] Oh, Vin loves coffee.

Michelle: [00:04:50] All the sudden I like Vince so much more than I ever did.

Gabe: [00:04:53] Well there’s another thing that I should tell you about Vin. He loves New York style pizza. It’s the only pizza that he will eat.

Michelle: [00:05:00] Why did you never tell me this about Vin?

Gabe: [00:05:04] I’m telling you now.

Michelle: [00:05:04] Ack!

Gabe: [00:05:05] Don’t assume that all the people around you are like old and god awful. Maybe ask them some questions? Maybe find some common ground?

Michelle: [00:05:14] All I know is that he likes comics.

Gabe: [00:05:16] Well I mean he does like comics. That’s true.

Michelle: [00:05:18] And I have nothing in common with Vin because I don’t like comics. But now that I know I have all this stuff in common with Vin, maybe maybe Vin and me can be BFFs?

Gabe: [00:05:23] I always thought you and Vin were BFFs.

Michelle: [00:05:27] No, you didn’t.

Gabe: [00:05:28] I know. Listen everybody, Michelle and Vin don’t have a rift. They get along just fine but they have a lot in common and they don’t realize it because you know Vin is well into his 50s and Michelle acts 12. It’s a big big gap. You know Vin lives in California, Michelle is from New York. We’ve got the whole male female thing going.

Michelle: [00:05:48] It’s going to be a long distance relationship.

Gabe: [00:05:49] It’s going to be a long distance?

Michelle: [00:05:50] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:05:50] Vin is very like muted. Like he’s nothing like me. He’s just very like, Yes, thank you.

Michelle: [00:05:55] Yes, hello, yes. My name is Vincent M. Wales.

Gabe: [00:05:59] He’s a novelist. He spends a lot of time alone with his words. I spend a lot of time alone with my words but I’m not writing them.

Michelle: [00:06:05] You’re just talking them.

Gabe: [00:06:06] I’m just talking. You know how you said early on that one of your coping mechanisms, not self care but coping mechanisms, was you put earbuds in? And that way when you walk down the street, people were like, “Oh, she’s not talking to herself she’s singing along to music. Or maybe she’s on a Bluetooth? Maybe she’s on the phone, etc?” It doesn’t look weird because you have the earbuds in.

Michelle: [00:06:25] Yes right.

Gabe: [00:06:27] I became a podcaster because originally when I was sitting upstairs just talking to myself, my wife thought it was weird. Now I’m like oh podcasting. She thinks I podcast 14 hours a day.

Michelle: [00:06:37] I know. I know my friends in college thought I was on the phone. Sometimes I’d be on the phone, but often they’d be like, “Who are you talking to?” And so I was, “I wasn’t.” I would try to say I was on the phone more times than I actually was, honestly.

Gabe: [00:06:51] One of your self care techniques was to educate the people that you lived with. I don’t think you’ve ever lived alone, have you? You’ve always either lived at home, lived in the dorms, or lived with a roommate?

Michelle: [00:07:01] Yes.

Gabe: [00:07:02] So you’ve had to do that. Part of your self care regimen is educating the people that you live with so that they give you the least amount of flack or shit or trouble as possible, right?

Michelle: [00:07:14] Yeah pretty much yeah. It’s never really been a big deal with anyone I lived with like outside of college. Since moving into Queens and Astoria and living in the apartment I live in now. The only thing that bothers anyone is that I don’t clean enough.

Gabe: [00:07:25] But that’s not schizophrenia.

Michelle: [00:07:26] No, that’s not schizophrenia. But like you know, being as schizophrenic, you always learn like they’re not the cleanliness of all the people blah blah blah.

Gabe: [00:07:35] We’re gonna get letters for that. Wait, did you just say people with schizophrenia aren’t clean?

Michelle: [00:07:38] We just watched that video that was like, “Schizophrenic people might not be dressed the best.” Or whatever that stupid video said. Like, okay, sure we don’t dress great. But what kind of ridiculous freakin’ fact was that?

Gabe: [00:07:49] You know it’s messed up. I know personally two people who live with schizophrenia. I have lots of, you know, co-workers and colleagues and fellow mental health advocates but two people who live with schizophrenia that I consider like like buddies. One of them is Michelle Hammer.

Michelle: [00:08:03] Mmm-hmm.

Gabe: [00:08:03] The great Michelle Hammer.

Michelle: [00:08:04] The great.

Gabe: [00:08:07] And the other one is Rachel Star. Rachel Star is like the best dressed person we know.

Michelle: [00:08:11] I know. And she knows how to walk in heels.

Gabe: [00:08:13] Yeah. She teaches it. She actually had a fashion blog for a while where she taught people how to be a girl and like how to walk in high heels, how to wear the belt, how to do the makeup. She’s like well put together and she has schizophrenia. So I’m starting to think that maybe these videos where they say things like, “people with schizophrenia don’t dress well, and they dress weird, and they act weird, and they’re they’re not clean, and they’re not organized, and they walk funny.”.

Michelle: [00:08:34] And they walk with an awkward gaunt.

Gabe: [00:08:38] Yeah I think maybe.

Michelle: [00:08:38] What is gaunt? The awkward gaunt?

Gabe: [00:08:40] I don’t know what any of that is either but this leads us into our next form of self care. Don’t watch that shit.

Michelle: [00:08:47] True.

Gabe: [00:08:51] So many people, they’re just constantly Googling stereotypes and offensive things on the Internet so that they can be mad at it.

Michelle: [00:08:58] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:08:59] Why?

Michelle: [00:08:59] It’s almost like they want to educate themselves as much as possible but then they find these online articles that really just are stereotypical and are wrong and they just start thinking bad things.

Gabe: [00:09:12] It pisses you off.

Michelle: [00:09:13] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:09:15] If you seek out things to be angry at, you’re gonna find it.

Michelle: [00:09:18] Yes.

Gabe: [00:09:20] But here’s the magical thing though. If you seek out things to provide you with joy on the Internet you will also find those.

Michelle: [00:09:26] What do you find for joy on the Internet? Porn?

Gabe: [00:09:28] Listen I’m not going to lie and tell people that I’ve never looked at pornography on the Internet today. Because that would just be a lie.

Michelle: [00:09:37] And nobody would believe you.

Gabe: [00:09:39] And nobody would believe me. But there are really cool things on the Internet that I do enjoy reading. One of the things that I’ve done and I think that this is vital to self care is I use a news curator. That eliminates a lot of news that I just don’t want to hear about, or sources that I consider to be offensive or dramatic or don’t follow journalistic standards.

Michelle: [00:10:02] Personally like just don’t.

Gabe: [00:10:03] Your personal beliefs are really irrelevant. It’s the part where you’re constantly being bombarded with you’re wrong you’re stupid you’re wrong you’re stupid you’re wrong you’re stupid. You realize once you put a slant on news it’s no longer news.

Michelle: [00:10:14] It’s just bias.

Gabe: [00:10:15] It’s just gossip.

Michelle: [00:10:15] It’s biased news.

Gabe: [00:10:17] It’s opinion.

Michelle: [00:10:18] It’s why I like E News.

Gabe: [00:10:20] Yeah I like I like to read my news. I also don’t like like live news, and by live news like I don’t turn on like the 24 hour news station on the TV because it always ends up like this. Like we’re getting word that something is happening. We have no facts or information so we’re just going to make shit up.

Michelle: [00:10:36] I personally love watching car chases.

Gabe: [00:10:38] Yeah, car chases are kind of fun.

Michelle: [00:10:39] I like when they watch the car chase and then the car goes under a bridge or something like that and then they start watching the wrong car.

Gabe: [00:10:47] They follow for a minute and then the helicopter goes back left?

Michelle: [00:10:48] Yeah. They watch the car and like oh the car seems to be pulling into a gas station. Oh the guy in the car seems to be wearing a different color shirt. They don’t seem to be really in a rush. Oh I’m sorry guys. I think you’ve been following the wrong car now.

Gabe: [00:11:01] Oh the police all left.

Michelle: [00:11:02] It seems like we’ve, uh, we’ve lost the car. Those are hilarious.

Gabe: [00:11:06] To answer your original question of what are some things that I like to read on the Internet that are fun? There’s all kinds of uplifting things. The biggest one for our community that we like to push out is The Mighty. TheMighty.com. We do ask us anything on the first and third Monday, we do it live. You can see our pretty faces. Just go to mental health on TheMighty.com.

Michelle: [00:11:25] You can see my pretty face and Gabe’s ginger face.

Gabe: [00:11:28] One of my self care things is to limit the amount of time I spend with Michelle.

Michelle: [00:11:31] No, but going on what I was saying about watching car chases. I look up on YouTube like fails.

Gabe: [00:11:37] There you go.

Michelle: [00:11:39] And it is just hilarious. But of course if anyone actually got hurt in the fails they wouldn’t be in the fails compilation but it’s just so funny to me watching these people get hurt. It’s hilarious. Rope swing fails are hilarious. Like any kind of like snowboarding fails. Those are pretty funny. Or just ridiculous like just kids doing something stupid. But I know it’s not good to watch this one but it’s hilarious. Baby fails. Baby fails are the funniest fails ever. They just fall over; they trip over things. Or like the babies cover themselves in peanut butter. Hilarious. And of course, the granddaddy of all them is when guys just get hit in the balls.

Gabe: [00:12:19] Just get hit in the balls?

Michelle: [00:12:19] Just getting hit in the balls. I cannot physically know the pain of getting hit in the balls but it looks painful and it’s hilarious to watch them. Have you ever been hit in the balls, Gabe?

Gabe: [00:12:28] Yes.

Michelle: [00:12:29] Sorry. I’m sorry.

Gabe: [00:12:31] It’s amazing to me because on one hand I’m like oh man, would it be self care for me to watch a bunch of guys getting hit in the balls because I know that suffering and that it always makes me cringe. But on the other hand I’d laugh hysterically.

Michelle: [00:12:43] Laugh hysterically. Hysterically, hysterically. Let’s take a break and hear from our sponsor.

Announcer: [00:12:49] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Michelle: [00:13:20] And we’re back talking about self care.

Gabe: [00:13:22] How do you feel about fidget spinners.

Michelle: [00:13:23] I like fridget spinners. Why not?

Gabe: [00:13:25] Have they helped you? They’re not new anymore. I mean they’re well over a year old and I think the fad has kind of gone as far as mainstream.

Michelle: [00:13:32] Oh they were all over Chinatown when I was popping up in near little Italy. They were everywhere. Every kid that came into the market had a fidget spinner a couple of years ago.

Gabe: [00:13:42] They were everywhere for ten dollars and then last year I went to the fair and they were a buck.

Michelle: [00:13:45] Five dollars. Chinatown five dollars. That’s how much they were.

Gabe: [00:13:47] Yeah, everywhere in Ohio ten bucks ten bucks ten bucks ten bucks and then at the fair this year a dollar.

Michelle: [00:13:51] Yeah, well whoever invented them they made a lot of money.

Gabe: [00:13:55] So the mainstream fad is over. I’ve kept mine. I still find it to be very very helpful. I keep a little, not a fidget spinner, but a little fidget toy in my pocket. And I still use what I consider like fidget spinners’ great great grandpa, like Koosh balls or squeezy balls. I find all of those things.

Michelle: [00:14:13] You how? You squeeze your balls?

Gabe: [00:14:14] No, I don’t squeeze my balls. I have a little foam ball that I can squeeze.

Michelle: [00:14:19] Oh, okay.

Gabe: [00:14:19] But it’s interesting that you’re over there thinking about my balls.

Michelle: [00:14:23] No I was just like you like squeezy balls. I mean you said squeezy balls, Gabe.

Gabe: [00:14:28] Stress balls.

Michelle: [00:14:29] You said you like squeezy balls.

Gabe: [00:14:30] Stess balls have been around for a long time.

Michelle: [00:14:31] You said you liked squeezy balls.

Gabe: [00:14:33] Do you ever think that we like bicker back and forth like siblings as part of our self care regimen? Is that like our thing? Because we laugh hysterically when we do it. So.

Michelle: [00:14:42] I guess we do.

Gabe: [00:14:43] So it’s clearly not an argument.

Michelle: [00:14:44] Talking about self care specifically, I always like to bring up the late great Whitney Houston who said learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.

Gabe: [00:14:59] But how is that a self care thing? I mean isn’t it like a high level concept? It’s kind of like telling somebody that is having financial problems to just make more money or if you’re distressed just love yourself.

Michelle: [00:15:08] Well she decided that to paraphrase I don’t know the exact words but Whitney Houston did say that she decided long ago not to wander in anyone’s shadow. You know what I’m saying?

Gabe: [00:15:19] Because that way if she succeeds it won’t be her destiny or something?

Michelle: [00:15:24] If I fail, if I succeed, at least I lived as I believe. Live as you believe, Gabe. Don’t wander in anyone’s shadow. Don’t be in anyone’s shadow. Be you. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.

Gabe: [00:15:37] I think that that is excellent advice. You’ve also stumbled upon another thing that I think is amazing. Music.

Michelle: [00:15:42] Yes.

Gabe: [00:15:43] This music really speaks to you and I know that you have described when you’ve been depressed stressed worried or even a little manic, that you use music to like regulate your moods. You think that’s a common thing? I have that big like 12 speaker surround sound stereo in my car, bluetooth enabled and I use it to listen to our podcast. But whenever you’re here, we connect it, and we’re like doing carpool Karaoke and like screaming to music and people are staring at us.

Michelle: [00:16:08] Yeah like that time I made you play White Houses by Vanessa Carlton and I was singing my heart out.

Gabe: [00:16:14] You were and what I love is I don’t like it when people sing because it grates me. But I was able to turn up the music so loud I couldn’t hear you.

Michelle: [00:16:21] Listen, you don’t like my singing voice? I am a professional singer.

Gabe: [00:16:24] Who sang that song?

Michelle: [00:16:26] Vanessa Carlton.

Gabe: [00:16:27] Let’s keep it that way.

Michelle: [00:16:29] Yes yes yes. Everybody used to say that back in the day.

Gabe: [00:16:32] Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Knock knock.

Michelle: [00:16:35] Who’s there?

Gabe: [00:16:35] Interrupting cow.  MOOOOOO!

Michelle: [00:16:38] Yeah. Everybody knows that one too, Gabe.

Gabe: [00:16:39] Wait, wait, wait. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Michelle: [00:16:41] To get the other side.

Gabe: [00:16:43] Oh you’ve heard this one.

Michelle: [00:16:44] Who killed Alicia Keys?

Gabe: [00:16:46] Who?

Michelle: [00:16:46] No one no one no one.

Gabe: [00:16:52] Alicia Keys is alive, right?

Michelle: [00:16:53] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:16:54] Okay.

Michelle: [00:16:54] That’s her song.

Gabe: [00:16:55] I didn’t know that.

Michelle: [00:16:55] Oh, okay, well.

Gabe: [00:16:57] Who’s Alicia Keys?

Michelle: [00:16:57] You know, she plays piano.

Gabe: [00:17:00] I think she’s a no one. No one no one.

Michelle: [00:17:02] OK. That’s not funny.

Gabe: [00:17:04] It’s a little funny.

Michelle: [00:17:05] Fine, whatever you want.

Gabe: [00:17:06] I think we like different music. We have found music that we both like and I would say that you know that’s another self care tip. Maybe be willing to compromise with your friends. I don’t like to listen to music in the car. It’s not something that I really do. But you and I have had to take several road trips as part of our job and you were like look I talk to you for money so I’m not going to talk to you for free. So I compromised and agreed to listen to music and we had a lot of fun doing it. It really was fun. But when you’re not around I don’t do it by myself. So I think that sometimes self care is being open to new ideas and maybe finding the joy in things that maybe you wouldn’t do alone. Another example of that is Jeopardy. I don’t watch Jeopardy when you’re not around.

Michelle: [00:17:46] I love Jeopardy. I love it. I just love to see more of the competition type aspect because when I watch it maybe I get like five questions right.

Gabe: [00:17:56] I get none.

Michelle: [00:17:57] No you get some.

Gabe: [00:17:58] Never.

Michelle: [00:17:59] I mean I wish I could be on Jeopardy but those people they just they have facts that I don’t even I didn’t even know where actual things. How do they know this stuff? They’re amazing. They’re amazing people.

Gabe: [00:18:11] You find that very interesting, right?

Michelle: [00:18:11] I do. That these people are so smart and I find it so interesting that they know these facts and like where did they learn these? Like, I went to high school, I went to college. I didn’t go to an Ivy League or anything like that, but how do they know these facts? And even there’s the teachers tournament and when I ever thought of a teacher I was like yeah your teacher teaches this subject.  I was that you know they know this subject. No no no. You watch teachers tournament they know everything. Every. Thing. And then the college tournament, they know everything. But I do very well on the high school tournament. Those are those questions I do pretty good and then they had like the juniors. I was so good at the juniors. You have no idea. Those 12 year old kids, I’m on their level.

Gabe: [00:18:56] You know that show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

Michelle: [00:18:59] I’m bad at that.

Gabe: [00:19:00] Well, I was not. I was not smarter than a fifth grader.

Michelle: [00:19:02] I was not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader either. Yeah that’s how it is. Well, Gabe, when you’re not around I like to watch The People’s Court. So when we’re together we always watch The People’s Court.

Gabe: [00:19:12] You watch The People’s Court when I’m not around?

Michelle: [00:19:13] I try to.

Gabe: [00:19:14] I never watch Jeopardy when you’re not around. Like that’s only something that I do with you because I only get joy when you’re around. And truthfully I think the only joy that I get is watching you watch it. Listen I think that sometimes people miss the idea that self care doesn’t necessarily mean getting your way. You know so many people are like self care is doing what you want to do and it is. There’s a part of that, but self care is also about finding joy in things maybe you wouldn’t find joy in. And I think of things like, let’s take marriage for example. When you’re married you have to go to places or eat at restaurants or experience things that you wouldn’t seek on your own. I did not want to see Hamilton.

Michelle: [00:19:57] Why not? It’s supposed to be amazing. I want to see it so badly but the tickets are expensive.

Gabe: [00:20:00] But my wife wanted to see it so I went.

Michelle: [00:20:03] I’ll go . I’ll go with your wife. You buy the tickets and I’ll go with your wife.

Gabe: [00:20:07] It’s too late we already went.

Michelle: [00:20:08] Well, you didn’t invite me!

Gabe: [00:20:09] Maybe, but there’s an example. Though I did not want to go but I agreed to go. I got dressed up, we went out to a nice dinner, and I enjoyed myself. I both enjoyed the play and I enjoyed sharing it with somebody, making my wife happy. It’s also about the pageantry of putting on a suit. My wife and I don’t wear nice clothes around each other very often and it doesn’t matter if it’s Hamilton in a nice restaurant or if it’s just going to the Taco Bell in the nice section of town around the corner. Make it special. There’s all kinds of ways to take the mundane and turn them into better, and that is an example of self care.

Michelle: [00:20:45] This self care really is classified under the problem solving.

Gabe: [00:20:50] Problem solving self care?

Michelle: [00:20:51] This is problem solving.

Gabe: [00:20:52] Dun dun dun.

Michelle: [00:20:53] Yeah. All of this is really is problem solving self care. This is what we’re really discussing right now.

Gabe: [00:20:59] I agree.

Michelle: [00:21:00] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:21:00] You read an article didn’t you?

Michelle: [00:21:03] Possibly.

Gabe: [00:21:03] I’m sorry.

Michelle: [00:21:04] I did some research. Yes, what can I say? What can I say? I know.

Gabe: [00:21:08] You know, nobody has ever called you illiterate, Michelle.

Michelle: [00:21:11] Nobody. Nobody’s ever called me a illiterate since I learned how to read. I learned how to read, Gabe, one day.

Gabe: [00:21:16] You know jokes are funny. You asked earlier about things that you can seek out on the internet. Jokes. There’s jokes everywhere.

Michelle: [00:21:23] There’s jokes everywhere.

Gabe: [00:21:24] And there’s there’s inspirational writing.

Michelle: [00:21:26] Yes.

Gabe: [00:21:27] That’s always fun.

Michelle: [00:21:28] Watching TV like TV can be self care. I’m a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’ve been a huge fan since I was eight years old. And you know with the beauty of you know online streaming services and stuff like that I now can just go on to any one of those. Know the episode that I’m looking for. Watch it. And I feel that feeling of just like comfort. And it makes me feel better because I know the feeling that I get when I watch that specific episode. Like the episode where Buffy has to kill Angel and the devastation.

Gabe: [00:22:02] No.

Michelle: [00:22:02] It’s just I it’s like when I’m depressed I watch that episode and I’m like at least I didn’t have to kill my love. You know?

Gabe: [00:22:10] Wow.

Michelle: [00:22:11] She leaves town and goes to L.A.

Gabe: [00:22:13] Does Buffy kill her podcast co-host?

Michelle: [00:22:15] She doesn’t have a podcast, that didn’t exist.

Gabe: [00:22:19] OK. So I’m safe. That’s what I’m hearing.

Michelle: [00:22:21] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:22:21] But your significant other? You might have to kill someday?

Michelle: [00:22:24] Only if she tries to end the world and takes the sword out of Acathla as he’s going to swallow the world. And the only way to save the world is to kill her and send her to hell.

Gabe: [00:22:37] I know your significant other and she’s not that motivated. We’ll be fine.

Michelle: [00:22:40] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:22:42] Here’s some other like just real quick self-help tips that people don’t think of. Brush your teeth.

Michelle: [00:22:46] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:22:47] Eat something healthy. Make a meal, like make pageantry out of, you know? Don’t just grab the chips or you know the bagel bites in the microwave, actually cook a meal. There take a shower, shave, take a walk around the block, go to the gym. I mean it ramps up from here.

Michelle: [00:23:03] Exercise is great self care.

Gabe: [00:23:05] I’m not going to do that. But you’re right it is great self care.

Michelle: [00:23:10] It is and also joining a sports team. Any kind of club team is also great self care too.

Gabe: [00:23:16] People don’t think about that a lot, especially adults. You know I talked to a lot of people over the age of 50 and over the age of 40 because I’m at that age, and like I don’t know what to do for self care and I say like have you ever considered joining like a book club or a bowling league? And they’re like well but isn’t that like for young people? No, and one of the things that you turned me onto a long time ago, which is in your Jeopardy theme, is a lot of sports bars and bars like during the week will have trivia nights.

Michelle: [00:23:41] Yes.

Gabe: [00:23:41] Trivia nights are a lot of fun and you don’t have to sign up, you just have to show up so you show up and you can have fun. And listen, what’s really cool about them that I found out is that most people just suck. They just suck at trivia night but it’s a lot of fun. There’s always like a couple of teams are taking it like really serious and.

Michelle: [00:23:58] People take it ridiculously seriously.

Gabe: [00:24:01] Yeah.

Michelle: [00:24:01] Like ridiculous.

Gabe: [00:24:01] But at least half the room is just like, “Huh, trivia is hard.” But they’re still having fun.

Michelle: [00:24:07] I’ve never placed in regular trivia above second to last place.

Gabe: [00:24:11] Second to last place? So you beat somebody?

Michelle: [00:24:13] One time only. Because one of the sections was Disney.

Gabe: [00:24:17] One of the sections was Disney?

Michelle: [00:24:18] Yeah. That’s how I got 2nd to last place.

Gabe: [00:24:20] Didn’t you participate in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer trivia?

Michelle: [00:24:20] Yes I have many times and I have placed and I’ve never placed below fourth. I’ve got to go first second third and fourth.

Gabe: [00:24:29] Oh wow so you did get first when it was very specific to an amount of knowledge that you had.

Michelle: [00:24:33] Yeah I only placed first the one time where I was alone.

Gabe: [00:24:37] So if I want to take first in a trivia contest I should find like bullshit trivia?

Michelle: [00:24:42] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:24:42] Because I would place first.

Michelle: [00:24:44] If it was mental health trivia you would.

Gabe: [00:24:46] Oh my God. Could you imagine? You and I we would dominate it.

Michelle: [00:24:49] We would dominate mental health trivia.

Gabe: [00:24:51] Not only would we dominate but like if any of the stereotypes were the answer we’d correct it.

Michelle: [00:24:54] Oh, my God. We should have mental health trivia night somewhere. We should start that.

Gabe: [00:25:00] This is an excellent idea.

Michelle: [00:25:02] We should have a little contest or something.

Gabe: [00:25:06] A contest?

Michelle: [00:25:06] A mental health contest. Mental health, we should do something. But how do we know?

Gabe: [00:25:08] Eh, people are going to Google.

Michelle: [00:25:10] They’re gonna google.

Gabe: [00:25:12] I’ve got the first question though and they won’t be able to Google. I figured it out, Michelle. All right everybody, using show@PsychCentral.com, send us an email with the nicest thing that somebody did for you to help you cope with your own mental illness. So a nice story about a friend, a caregiver, a stranger. All stories are welcome. Please send them to show@PsychCentral.com. And if we use it on the air we’ll send you stickers because we’re chill like that.

Michelle: [00:25:39] Or a talking mental health T-shirt, Gabe.

Gabe: [00:25:42] That is so mean. Why you gotta be mocking the talking mental t-shirts?

Michelle: [00:25:45] I’m not. I’m not mocking them. I’m saying we should send them more than stickers, Gabe.

Gabe: [00:25:50] All right, I will revise it. The winner, the best story, the most moving and meaningful story, will get A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast care package, including more than just stickers. But all of the other stories that we use on an upcoming show, will just get stickers. Fair?

Michelle: [00:26:07] But you have to actually write a good story.

Gabe: [00:26:12] Yeah, you got to read a good story.

Michelle: [00:26:13] You can’t just say, “My buddy gave me a Kit Kat and I was so happy about it.”

Gabe: [00:26:19] I mean you can, but you’re not going to win and we’re not going to use it on the show. And now I want to Kit Kat.

Michelle: [00:26:24] We have some downstairs.

Gabe: [00:26:24] Sweet. That’s where we’re off to. Thank you everybody for tuning into this week’s episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and Podcast. If you are on iTunes we would love your five star review. Write a review, like use your words. Tell people why they should listen and please share us on social media. Email us to your friends, help us go world wide famous. And finally, if you work for BuzzFeed, or know anybody that works for BuzzFeed, where’s our love? Please write a story on us. We will see everybody next week on you’re supposed to yell out A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast.

Michelle: [00:27:04] A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast!

Gabe: [00:27:06] Thanks everybody for tuning in. And we will see you next week.

Narrator: [00:27:15] You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. This show’s official web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at show@PsychCentral.com. Thank you for listening, and share widely.

Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

 

MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-self-care-for-your-mental-health/